MIXED METAPHORS

"as much fun as shooting monkeys in a barrel"

--Gary Swing


A car comes up behind you, flashing his horn.
Aaron Colwick
A carpenter was the low rung on a totem pole.
Charles Hodge
a heart as big as gold
Kathy Scott
A leopard can't change his stripes.
Al Gore
A rolling stone is worth two in the bush.
David Beck
A stitch in time is worth a pound of cure.
John_Nutting's ex-girlfriend
Adam wasn't always the brightest tool.
Darrell Ankarlo
An automatic process failed. I'm going to have to kick it off by hand.
The Russler
and, for the cherry on top, great sound & production that's crisp like a crunchy apple.
Alan_Caylow
[as if] it would somehow bring the public school system crumbling to its knees.
Mark Davis
as proud as pea soup
The Russler
As we consider the road that unfolds before us . . .
Barack Hussein Obama Jr.
beyond the question of a doubt
Doug_Yochum
biting the hand that rocks the cradle
Sherri Barber
¡Botó la casa por la ventana!
(It threw the house out the window!)
Latin American saying used when someone throws a lavish party
Brilliant sunshine rained down on Fort Collins.
Rush Limbaugh
But one has to tidy up the loose ends.
Agatha Christie
Button your seat belts.
Rush Limbaugh
Can't you read the handwriting in the wind?
Frank Burns
Change is now baked into the fabric of EDS.
Dick Brown, cooking & sewing expert
changes that will ignite our engines of growth
Dick Brown, with some explosive ideas
cut from the same mold
spotted in the newspaper by Eric Goberman
Danny can squeeze money out of a turnip.
Terry_Kitsen
David's come out of this one looking like a rose.
Dennis Malley
Did you hear what they feel?
acquaintance of Steve Barber
Dirty laundry is coming home to roost.
Ray Romano
Do you follow where I'm coming from?
Steve_Bishop
Does that play into the equation?
anonymous sportscaster
Don't burn your bridges till you come to them.
a general during WWII
Don't eat with your mouth full!
Russell McLaughlin's parents
Don't let the grass grow under a rolling stone.
Jayne Armstrong
Don't pull the axe too quickly.
Kevin
Don't take any wooden Indians.
The Russler
Don't throw up the white towel!
a marching band director to his students
Drill that message home.
someone at EDS
. . . drawing the eye . . . like a magnet.
field reporter on NBC5
drop down gorgeous
Theresa H's mother, referring to a handsome man
eating humble crow
overheard by Steve Stein
Even in a sewer, the cream rises to the top.
Charles Emerson Winchester
Everything got real dark, like snow.
witness to the World Trade Center collapse
everywhere you turn around
a college senior
fewer and fewer in between
Jerry_L._Miller
fiddling with his guitar
Jimmy Webb, refering to Glen Campbell
Frankly, we don't know whether to wind the watch or to bark at the moon.
Dan Rather
fodder for the mill
Mark_Davis
from the bottom on down
Bill_Kidd
get the kinks rolling
George Harper
Get in the boat or swim or get out.
Grace McIntyre
Go ahead. Spew it off your chest.
Jeff Feath
Have a nice day job.
The Russler
Haven't we beat that with a dead stick?
Todd Bruce
He came out of it smelling like a bandit.
Gene_McLemore
He can cry on a dime.
Kim
He clams up tighter than a drum.
Alex, in "Walker, Texas Ranger"
He kind of liked Alison, but Heather didn't really flip his whistle.
Celia_Steele
He knew how to butter his nest.
anonymous
He reads like a fish.
a New Yorker who claims that people there use a lot of different verbs in "He/she ______s like a fish."
He took to it like a fish out of water.
Michael Ellis
He wanted to get out from under his father's coat strings.
Jeff_Orr
He's a pretty sharp cookie.
David_Wilmot
He's been burning the midnight oil at both ends.
someone from England
He's cooking his goose deeper and deeper.
Kathy Scott
He's not the sharpest marble in the drawer.
Vinny Pazienza
He's one brick short of the whole nine yards.
The Russler
He's really low dog on the totem pole.
John_Galvin
He's the meanest man on the face of the universe.
someone at EDS
. . . her last day as an eagle . . . flying off to greener pastures . . .
Steve P.
Here we are in the Holy Land of Israel -- a mecca for tourists.
someone from England
Hold the Farm!
The Russler
How would I feel if I were sitting in your shoes?
Stan_Womack
I ate enough to float a battleship!
Tom VK's mother's coworker
I can read him like an open can of worms.
unnamed baseball player
I can see the light at the end of the rainbow.
Walt
I could beat him with my eyes tied behind my back.
Kev_Newton
I could hear the handwriting on the wall.
overheard by Eric Goberman
I could see you itching at the bit.
The Russler
I didn't have two minutes to rub together.
Scott_Zotigh
I donít think they want to bite off that bullet.
Steve_Boress
I donít think we should jump at straws here.
Rush Limbaugh
I don't want that monkey around my neck.
John_Nutting's ex-girlfriend
I dozed in and off.
Jeff Feath
I feel like a bridegroom waiting at the altar for a blind date.
John
I feel the comparison paints Chicago in a bad light.
Theresa_Blackwell
I guess I threw a cog in the wrench.
Jeannette Scott
I guess the foot's on the other hand now!
Capt. Striker
I have been torn betwixt and between the devil and the deep blue sea.
Inga
I knew enough to realize that the alligators were in the swamp and that it was time to circle the wagons.
Rush Limbaugh
I left the door wide open, and you didn't take the bait.
Kyle Messerschmitt
I looked to see what I could hear.
Atlanta bar employee
I make it my goal to shake every hand that walks in the door.
Jacob Hawk
I should move to the other side of the building, so I can see the sunset come up every morning.
Kyle Malone
I think we got on like a house gathering no moss.
Shaun_Fiedler
I thought it might be a good idea for you to check base with him.
Hubert_Jones
I turned a blind eye to all that bad stuff I was hearing.
overheard by Peter Cox
I want to be sure we don't build ourselves a bag of worms.
anonymous
I want to see you go to town like a house of fire.
Jeannette Scott
I wanted to come out of the chute on the right foot.
John Mabry
I was so excited my heart about fell out of my stomach!
"American Idol" contestant
I was the mother hen to all these little ducks.
Sandy on "Survivor"
I wasn't living under my parents' house anymore.
Misty Lou
I wish they'd hurry up and get their act in gear.
Jeff_Giesen
I will miss seeing him around the shoehorn.
council member in Lexington, Kentucky
I'd walk a mile in a camel's shoes to pass through the eye of a needle.
Gary Swing
I'll bet she has her clothes made by Orville, the tent maker.
John_Nutting's ex-girlfriend
I'm bone empty.
Jeff Feath
I'm getting up on my feedbox here.
Rob_Tudor
I'm going to go ahead and mow and get it out of the over with.
The Russler
Iím just talking out loud.
Lori Miller
I'm no Monday morning shortstop.
radio advertiser
I'm not the brightest bulb in the drawer, but you are.
Attorney Doug Monsour to Dr. Edwin Tucker in a deposition.
I'm not trying to poke holes at anybody.
Jerry_L._Miller
I'm so busy, I don't know whether I'm coming or not.
a top level business exec
I'm sweating like a stuck pig.
Sherri Barber
I'm tired of being a pawn in your lousy game of checkers!
Vinnie Faducci
I've been up and down like a light switch.
Shaun_Fiedler
I've been up and down so many times that I feel as if I'm in a revolving door.
Cher
I've got an ace up my nose.
Ken Zotigh
If he doesn't carry Florida, Slim will have left town.
Dan Rather
. . . if the child was shoplifting, that's one thing, but if her parents were teaching her to steal, that's a whole new ballpark. . . .
anonymous, quoted by Debra Bentley
If they do that, they might as well take the open door policy and throw it right out the window!
Stan_Womack
If worse comes to shove . . . .
The Russler
If you don't wear your seat belt, you're just a missile waiting to happen.
Christine Wick
If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet.
British foreign minister Ernet Bevin
Ignorance is golden.
Gary Swing
In about six months I'll be knocking on your shoulder.
Reggie_Walker
In for a dime, in for a dozen.
Santiago
Is that going to throw a wrinkle?
David Beck
Is this a whole nother bucket of worms?
Keith_from_TGI
Isn't it nice to not have to look over our backs anymore?
anonymous, quoted by Sherri Barber
It ain't a pretty sight for the ears.
anonymous
It dawned across my head.
anonymous
It doesn't quite cut the muffin.
panel speaker on a serious TV show
It isn't rocket surgery!
Michael Kirk
It kind of defeats the whole point.
someone in a business meeting
It looks like the cows have come home to roost.
Frank Drebbin
It sent goosebumps up my spine.
Jim_Kuykendall
It sounds good on paper.
The Russler
It was time to get my act in gear.
Mark_Rathwell
It will be music to your wallet.
advertiser
It will have a special time on our plate.
Robert K. Oglesby
It'll be a cold day in January when that happens!
John_Nutting's ex-girlfriend
It's a big nut to swallow.
Mike_Neff
It's a Hallmark moment!
Ann Jewell
It's as plain as the egg on your face.
The Russler
It's as American as killing two birds with one apple pie.
Gary Swing
It's gonna snowball through the whole fireworks.
Michael_Willey
It's hard to catch lightning in a bottle twice.
Norah O'Donnell on The Chris Matthews Show
It's like a wizard in sheep's clothing.
T.A._Miller
It's like ice cold electricity passing through your body.
a novelist
It's like locking the barn door after the nuts have bolted.
Jayne Armstrong
It's like pulling hen's teeth.
anonymous
It's like pushing a rock upstream.
overheard by Steve Stein
It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.
Robert K. Oglesby
It's water under the dam.
overheard by Steve Stein
Just then, the fickle finger of fate reared its ugly head.
Selby Anderson
just to throw some evidence on the fire
business meaning attendee
Keep a stiff upper chin.
James MacDonald
Keep your nose up!
Manuel
kicking off the hockey season
sportscaster
kill two birds with one egg
Michelle_Perry
Let's clear up a loose end.
Rush Limbaugh
Let's make sure we're all talking off the same sheet of music.
Tom_Sweeterman
Let's not put all of our cookies in a basket.
Doug_MacDougal
Letís split the baby with the bathwater.
anonymous
Life is a box of cherries.
overheard by Steve Stein
life, liberty, and the pursuit of justice for all
Johnny Cochran
like stealing cake from a baby
overheard by Dan Butler
Listen! You smell something?
Ray Stantz
living from hand to mouth like the birds of the air
Sir Boyle Roche
Local teen pregnancy rates are off the roof!
overheard by Steve Barber
long road to hoe
anonymous
Loose lips sink like a rock.
Gary Swing
Make like a tree and head out.
Jesse
Moss never grows on a fish out of water.
Jayne Armstrong
My mind is an open slate.
The Russler
Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
Farber
99 times out of ten, that's what you'll get.
Kent_Martin
No one else can make me feel the colors that you bring.
Minnie Ripperton
No use beating him over the head with a dead horse.
Durward_Cline
Now I'm going to tell you something that'll really throw a kink in the wrench.
Parker_Allen
Now, Senator McCain suggests that somehow, you know, I'm green behind the ears.
Barack Obama, October 7, 2008
Now that the ball is in our court, let's go for the touchdown.
a lieutenant governor-elect of New Mexico, I forget which
not until frozen pigs fly in hell
anonymous
not without a grain of sugar
anonymous
nothing out of the unusual
Kelly_Gryting
Nuke The Unborn Gay Whales
bumper sticker
Off the cuff of my head.
overheard by Steve Stein
one hundred degrees better
anonymous
Oh yeah, itís like watching wallpaper dry.
someone at Adrian Donahue's workplace
Oh my heavens to Betsy.
Mark Davis
Our methodology isn't cast in stone.
Sam_Jellad
Our old car bought the dirt.
The Russler
Our organization really frowns down on that.
Brian_Lawrence
Pause your eyes!
Madison Michelle to her Granny K.
Pensions these days aren't worth the money they're written on.
Shaun_Fiedler
People will blow smoke and mirrors at you.
acquaintance of Steve Barber
Players' names should be entered in numeric order.
a league's instructions to coaches
Put that in your hat and smoke it.
Jesse
. . . putting aside every spare nickel. You know, building up a little goose egg.
Rob Benjamin
raining like a sieve
Jesse
right between the nose
Paul_Foley
right there on the tip of my brain
David R. Scott
ripple down
Compton and Jansen
She flew off the deep end.
anonymous
She has bigger dogs to fry.
Ken Zotigh
She may want to tackle that battle.
Craig_Bilodeau
She's not the toughest cookie on the block.
my cousin Kim
Silence is bliss.
Terry_Castellanos
smoking like a sieve
Glen_Ayers
Someone's going to hang from the yardstick for this.
radio advertiser
Sometimes I feel like I'm swimming uphill against the grain.
Steve Barber
Sometimes they bite the farm.
Ken Zotigh
Sometimes you have to bite the hand that you're dealt.
The Russler
Spare the rod; spoil the broth.
The Russler
Start at the 40,000-foot level, then drill down.
various IT managers
step up to the plate and pick up the gauntlet
Dave Musgrave
stirred the sea into a bowl of boiling cauldron
Robert Taylor
surfing the Infobahn [information superhighway]
Stan Kelly-Bootle
tackle that hurdle
Al_Poulin
Take the ball by the horns and run with it.
Earl
That doesn't mean it's written in gold.
Kathy Scott
That fish wonít hunt.
Chad Funk
That may sound great on paper.
Sean Hannity
That put a monkey in the wrench.
Debra Bentley (who did it on purpose before knowing about this book)
That really hacks me to a crisp.
Jeannette Scott
That was a dialog we started down.
Andrew_P._Smith
That will round out the triangle.
unnamed novelist
That will open up a whole new can of issues.
Frank Velez
That's a huge weight lifted off my head.
Shaun_Fiedler
That's grabbing the bull by the horns of a dilemma.
Gary Nijman
That's the nail that hits us on the head.
Tomas
That's the one that really swayed me over.
KSCS deejay
That's using your head for something besides a footstool.
Jeannette Scott
The ball stops in Dayton.
Steve_DeHaven
The beer flowed like wine.
someone on TV
The bottom line boils down to . . . 
Farrell_Wilson
the bottom rung of the ladder
Robert K. Oglesby
The deputy was willing to cut him a break.
Sgt._Sam_Pollock
The early bird gathers no moss.
Darin_Scheff
The folks in St. Louis burnt the midnight candle to resolve the issues.
someone in a memo
The future of the church depends on passing the torch to the next generation. Tonight's speaker is one who has taken hold of the baton.
Robert Taylor
The House Of Seven Ushers
Kathy Scott
The intention is to get a jumpstart on it.
Walter_Morgan
The Maxeys' house deal fell through, so they're back to Ground Zero.
Kathy Scott
The rain is coming down like gangbusters!
David Beck
The rain was coming down in droves!
someone who prefers it to rain cats and dogs, not cattle
The ship of state has a difficult road ahead.
unnamed politician
The squeaky wheel wins.
Rob_Tudor
There are things that will really sink home with you.
Rob_Tudor
There wasn't a dry tear in the place.
someone on a "reality" show
There's a silver lining in all that red ink.
NBC5 news anchor Mike Snyder
There's light at the end of this rainbow.
Glenn Zimmerman, WNBC-TV News
These two guys are cut out of the same mold.
anonymous
They are crumbling at the seams.
one of the guys on "Hell's Kitchen"
They are opening doors that are on the cutting edge.
Edmond Pope
They counted the votes until the cows had literally gone to sleep.
Dan Rather
They cut into a water main, and it was gushing like a mountain.
Jeannette Scott
They don't know yet whether that played a factor in the accident.
newscaster
They gave him a raw shake.
John_Galvin
They need to wake up and smell the music.
John_Galvin
They paired off, one by one.
John Scott
They try to balance a fine line.
John_Casey
They'll never buy the cow if they can get the eggs for free.
anonymous
They're a legend before their time.
radio advertiser
They're in the trenches; they're on the horse and they're riding it.
Terry Johnson
Things are different when you have fifteen people on your plate.
Sam Mihdawi
This is a race where you can turn a corner, and then there'll be another team right there breathing down your throat.
Wil on "The Amazing Race"
This is just a nightmare waiting to happen.
Kathy Scott
This is something to put on the back of your radar.
overheard by Steve Barber
This isn't set in stone.
lots of people, confusing setting in concrete with carving in stone
This snowball is coming down the mountain with a full head of steam.
Dale_Dubois
Three people could halve that.
Kathy Scott
Throw the spaghetti onto the ceiling to see what sticks.
a Law & Order character
to get the buy-off of the business partner
a techie wanting buy-in and sign-off simultaneously
to the max degree
Rush Limbaugh
too many oars in the fire
anonymous
too many skeletons in her background
Kristin Brown
up a tree without a paddle
a Walt Disney character, I forget which
We all act as one heartbeat.
Yugo foreign minister Nebojsa
We are tipping the iceberg.
acquaintance of Steve Barber
We can still hang our heads high.
member of U.S. men's 4x100 Olympic team
We certainly don't want to rock the apple cart.
Steve Stein's boss
We drove a stake in the stand.
someone in my office
We had some hiccups in the road.
someone in Jon Kindschy's office
We just keep getting the tail end of the stick.
Lancaster,_Texas Mayor_Margie_Waldrop
We need to get a vaccuum cleaner and hose him down.
David Beck
We need to have photographic ears.
Ken_Blanchard
We need to look at it before the other eyes set foot on it.
Mike_Wajda
We need to sit down and walk through some things.
Ken Zotigh
We raised it to new depths.
anonymous Toastmaster
We should continue to ride the horse that brings in the gravy.
Jesse H. Borcher
We want to brand the Renascence name to the eyeballs in the chairs.
a salesman
We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.
anonymous
We'll have to get our hands wet.
colleague of Steve Stein
We'll just deal with it when we cross that bridge.
football captain speaking on team selection
We'll rewind the calendar.
anonymous deejay
We're cooking on all four cylinders.
Robert K. Oglesby
We're going to get locked into a corner.
Tom_Hogan
We're still getting our feet wet on getting rolling here.
Jim_Ballestro
What a dirty trap!
Jonathan_Polk
What goes around, stays in Vegas.
The Russler
When life throws you curve balls, make lemonade.
Earle Dukes Roberts III
when we cross that path
anonymous
when you boil it down to its nuts and bolts
Ken Zotigh
When you put your best foot forward, it rubs off on someone.
Theresa H's mother
While we are ingesting the author's valuable insights, we may also be swallowing his blind spots.
Robert K. Oglesby
. . . whilst I polish these puppies up . . .
Walter Becker of Steely Dan
Why don't you wear that turtle-hair sweater or that herring-tooth jacket?
Schell Browning
. . . who were going to fight you hook, line, and sinker.
Rush Limbaugh
windy as a hornet
Jesse
without fear of hesitation
John Popper
You are wise behind your ears.
The Russler
You buttered your bread, now sleep in it!
Jiminy Cricket
You can dish it out, but you can't take it with you.
The Russler
You can lead a gift horse to water but you can't look him in the mouth.
Gary Nijman
You can take that to the bank and smoke it.
Stephen J. Cannell
You could have blown me over with a feather.
a friend of the Russler's
You could visibly hear the reaction.
Robert K. Oglesby
You could take that guy with a grain a salt.
Cynthia_Zotigh
You got to take it slowly. You've got to walk with kid gloves.
Vinny Cerrato, former GM of the Redskins, commenting on RGIII's recovery from knee surgery
You have to dance to a different drum.
Laura Schlessinger
You hit the nail on the dot.
Cynthia_Vega
You must have ears like an eagle.
Sam Gerard in "The Fugitive"
You need more sugar to get your brain circulating.
Dave Beck
You were at your wit's nerve.
Mike Shearer
You're fighting upstream.
John Heft
You're not pointing blame?
Mike Shearer
Your car plays a link in your normal daily routine.
radio advertiser


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