miscellaneous quotes

Actually, that seemed pretty easy!
"By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote. In fact, it is as difficult to appropriate the thoughts of others as it is to invent."
—Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Big people talk about ideas. Medium-sized people talk about things. Little people talk about other people."
—quoted by Bob Lawrence
The originator of this proverb was obviously a little person.

"A witty saying proves nothing."
—Voltaire
So?

"I hate quotations."
—Emerson again
He contradicted himself! He never did that!

A beefmaster is one-third brahma, one-third shorthorn, and one-third hereford.
—Winfred_D._Inloes, who could not explain how you can breed cattle in those proportions
. . . a very important point that you can't help but miss . . .
—Jason_Moon
All I did wrong was break the law.
—Mary Kay LeTourneau
All Indians walk single file. At least the one I saw did.
—someone who gets his mental exercise by jumping to conclusions
All this is is it's an administrative organization.
—Stan_Womack
. . . and she's also the author of a great book. . . . How many years has this been out now?
—Glenn Beck
Two thousand seven.
—Amity Shlaes
You look young for someone who wrote a book a couple of millennia ago.
—The Russler
And the take bets of who can give a ticket closer the Jan 1.
—Kent_Milberger
Huh? What the saying you the me some?
—The Russler
As long as it's in Dale's head, it's a mystery to me.
—John_Crowder, trying to make a point about communication while successfully making a point about Dale
August 15th or the end of June, whichever comes first.
—Ken Zotigh
Cacti is also accepted . . . .
—City of Richardson, being careful to use the noun plural while neglecting to use the plural verb form of "to be."
Congratulations on becoming a 'Grandpa', there's nothing like it, I know, I have 6!
—Harold_Hulme, the only elderly man I know with six grandpas
. . . crews of less than twenty people. Sometimes less than that.
—James Withrow
Do so soon because the rates aren't available at all locations.
—Paul Harvey, advertising for Hampton Inns
Do you not hear what I say, or do you just not understand?
—Mr. Brown
Huh?
—The Russler
Do you not hear what I say, or do you just not understand?
—Mr. Brown
What do you mean?
—The Russler
"E Pluribus Unum" is a coined phrase.
—anonymous
Enclosed is a proposed revision of your will. If you have any further comments or corrections, let me know so that we can arrange for your execution.
—Wisconsin lawyer
. . . especially now that it's late so much later.
—Misty Lou
Eventually we had our first date, which was some time after we met.
—someone on TV
. . . every first day of the week.
—many speakers
How many first days does a week have?
—The Russler
Oh, you mean the first day of every week?
—The Russler
every hour of every minute
—Robert K. Oglesby
Everyone has to die . . . if they live long enough.
—overheard at a party
Everyone should be safe then sorry.
—Roger_Williams
FOMO is just an acronym for "concern of lacking out."
—spelling-challenged expert(?) on the internet
For a trip like that, you just about need two weeks, and I can't afford to to take more than ten or fifteen days off at a time.
—Lynn_Lindsey
. . . for over a year . . . maybe even longer . . .
—someone with an unusual calendar
God not only forgives people, He forgets them.
—a Bible teacher talking about Jeremiah 31:34
Ha! It's not pronounced WORSH-ington, it's pronounced WARSH-ington!
—a friend of mine correcting her husband
Have I left out anything yet?
—Jerry_L._Miller
Have I misstated anything incorrectly?
—Andy
He just vanished out of nowhere.
—a crime witness named Ken
He was extremely lucky that the bullet hit no vital parts.
—Dr._Gyula_Papp, referring to a man who shot himself in the head
He's a great guy. Barbara is, too.
—Stan_Thomas
Hello, this is Madhu's desk.
—voice on phone
How does Madhu rate a talking desk?
—Troy Price
Her sister broke two of her legs.
—Wilena_Grigsby
Honey, could you get my shoes from the garage?
—Cynthia
Which ones? You have three pair in there now.
—Ken
The ones I put my feet in.
—Cynthia
How old is your house?
—Mrs. Russler
Two thousand four.
—Justin
So it was built the year Caligula became emperor of Rome?
—The Russler
I dated a girl who was from Honduras for a while.
—Dennis Malley
I didn't know the 911 number in Aruba.
—suspect in an investigation
I don't want you to think that doesn't mean I don't love you.
—The Russler
I fail to disagree with that.
—anonymous engineer
I feel quingy about meeting her.
—David Scott
I found a pair of gloves crawling on the floor.
—Jerry_L._Miller
I guess my cell phone was off the hook.
—Leland Stottlemeyer
I just talked his leg off.
—Teresa and other Okies
I keep telling him to have his hearing checked, but he won't listen.
—Dennis Malley
I like to fit lots of things on my screen, and in order to do that I have to make my screen small.
—anonymous
I needed a back operation, and my back was against the wall.
—Powerball lottery winner David_Edwards
I never did anything to deserve it, did we?
—John_Massey
I never did hear an E-mail [from you].
—Angela_Lee
I presume we would never assume that.
—Martin_Quigley
I schedule the other greeters, and sometimes I greet myself.
—Lindy Bell
I spent the night in Dumas one day.
—Danny Hawk
I switched all the labels on my wife's spice rack. I'm not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.
—anonymous prankster
I think, you know, because why not? I mean, you know, anyone with my way of thinking, you always shoot for the top.
—Arnold S.
I think you think I'm somebody besides who I'm not.
—The Russler
I took twelve years of music in high school, and then I took it in college.
—Jeanne
I try to stay positive.
—Christine_Moody, who is "allergic to electricity"
I used to be an ex-alcoholic.
—Mike
I was in a race with Robert Taylor's daughter and didn't know it.
—Anita
How could you be in a race and not know it?
—Stacy
I washed the emptydisher.
—The Russler
I'm not denying I wasn't drinking by no means.
—David_Warner
I'm not in a jokative mood.
—Stacy
I'm probably sure.
—anonymous engineer
I've been sitting here all night . . . and then it dawned on me.
—one of my family members
If an SE encounters an technical issues that effects more than their team such table ID, how do they resolve the issue?
—Gwen_Seaman
If I could just get some more people pregnant, I could do more substitute teaching.
—Jerry Dowell
. . . in as little as over an hour.
—television newscaster
In Great Britain, they call it a lift. In America, it's called an elevator. Why? I guess we're just raised differently.
—anonymous linguist
. . . in the home of a man that's about the size of our baptistry.
—Robert_Taylor
It may or may not be a single person or multiple persons.
—anonymous
It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.
—anonymous owner of a very large book
It would be helpful to have your feed back by April 21.
—anonymous (I don't remember who said it, but I'm sure I didn't have any feed to give back to him.)
It's almost pretty amazing.
—Sean Hannity
It's almost very similar.
—Jacob_Hawk
It's half of one and six dozen of the other.
—The Russler
It's on the east side of 35 if you're going north.
—Debra Bentley
It's 6:30 on the dot just about.
—a clock watcher, sort of
It's the same kind of music you watch on TV.
—Noel_Kelley
Jesus gave The Sermon On The Mount when he took his disciples apart.
—the preacher
kill a bird with two stones
—Kristen
Login or Sign up
—a certain website, offering a choice between a noun and a verb
Manerment nor mainterntmen had no atcuse's to go in my apartment what so ever I had to keep a lock no the kichen cabernit.
—Dalton Chiscolm, suing his landlord for $892,000,000,000,000,000 (892 quadrillion)
. . . many talents, such as the ability to drive literally anything with wheels, including boats, jet skis and snowmobiles.
—from a brief biographical sketch
Medications will be faxed backed to the pharmacy after 4:30.
—from a memo by a company with amazing technology
Moses refused to be called the daughter of Pharaoh's son.
—Robert K. Oglesby
Most of our stuff will error off when it versions back forward.
—Patti_Widholm
My life changed 360 degrees for the better.
—Michelle Pfeifer
Next week, myself and some of our team members are heading to . . .
—I didn't write down who said this, but I hear this sort of thing constantly. The correct wording is "Next week, some of our team members and I are heading to . . ." First of all, "myself" is a reflexive. It doesn't fit this context. Second, this is the subject of the sentence, and the first person singular subjective pronoun is "I." It's been that way your entire life. Third, when the first person is combined with another subject, it goes last, not first. Me and you should know all this. Just kidding! You and I should. Even "Jeopardy!" contestants say ignorant stuff like this. For me, it's more useful to know how to put together a sentence in English than it is to know what year the Holy Roman Empire's Charles IV became King of Prussia. What do you think.
Not everything on the internet is true.
—Abraham Lincoln
Okay, that thing you were saying about Christmas: run that behind me again.
—Stan_Thomas
. . . one has to wonder could things have turned out differently had someone done something different.
—Mark_Rivera
One is alike; the other two are different.
—former coworker
People are just like us.
—Oscar_Mejia
People began to take note of his delicious food and timely service — the business literally exploded with positive reviews from his new customer base.
—from the history of the Mexi-Go restaurants
Please do NOT try this unless you are absolutely positive that you might mess up the system.
—Robert_Ames
Please respond ASAP with a yes or no if you will be there.
—Paul_Jouvenat, who didn't tell us how to respond if we won't be there.
Remember this like glue.
—David Scott
SWOP is an acronym for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats.
—Mishi_Guda
She lived across the street from me before she died.
—Sue Adams, who wasn't sure where she lived after that
She was biting his arm; she was biting his side; she was biting everywhere she could get her hands on.
—a woman who bites with her hands, speaking to Judge Marilyn
She was stabbed to death numerous times.
—Debbie_Morris
Sixty percent of every person in prison is black.
—Freddy_Anderson (who from what I can tell is at least 15% black)
So far you're the first to confirm!
—Myron_Bruce (But later on, maybe someone else will be the first.)
So that's what happened — good, bad, or different.
—Steve_Hineman
Something that has not yet to be acheived in the computer services sector.
—anonymous
Stay at his house until you leave.
—Jesus, in Matthew 10:11
Tapes that their previous cycles dataset is 100 MB or less. Currently is not.
—Dan_Newton
That was the most embarrassing life of my moment.
—Peggy Rathje
That will be out there for your perusement.
—Steve_Hineman
The coming of Jesus split time half in two.
—Robert Oglesby
. . . the East Coast, including New Orleans.
—Tony DiNozzo
The men who come here to speak do so without any agenda.
—Jerry_Lawlis
The more I live, the longer I realize . . .
—James_Ard
The new DBIO is alive and well. A post mortem will be held . . .
—John_Williamson
The plan was is that we're going to wait.
—Betty_Shull
The temperature has been three digits or higher.
—Dave Fuller, who hates it to get above 999°
The women will come out during this song, and then the men will come out with nothing on.
—Willora Oglesby, during a wedding rehearsal
There's no way people don t make afford to have anything to live.
—someone on social media
They are very much appreciate it.
—The Russler
They just moved into a new apartment and got a new puppy . . . from the shelter, named Dudley.
—Sherry Adams
That's an unusual name for a shelter!
—The Russler
They said this prior to their passing away.
—explanation following a quote
They were both 19 and 20 years old.
—heard on "Good Morning America"
This is the boot that I had on my right hand foot.
—Georgia man who was struck on the foot by lightning
This is the bug we plan to get into Release 1.3.
—Mike_Ballestra
Those decisions can severely kill or injure someone else.
—Paul_Shinal
Under no circumstances are goods to be returned to FWC at 1515 Broadway, New York, NY.
—FWC, ensuring you won't return anything by giving you the address!
We bring clothes and other items of food.
—Warren Shepherd
We had the shrimp and grits Taco, brisket, tater tots with bacon and an egg as well as Queso with curry and finally the red velvet cake.
—helpful neighbor reporting on a new restaurant
We have a 4 month old and he relies on his car to get to work.
—someone on social media requesting help with transportation
We made a new okra recipe, east Indian okra, that was delicious this last week.
—AlanOak, making no promise that it will be delicious next week
We want all sex offenders—past, present, and future—removed immediately.
—representative of SNAP (Survivors' Network of those Abused by Priests), who apparently advocates time travel.
We're gonna miss Ed. He's not leaving.
—Brandon Johnson
We're hurrying! We'll be there yesterday.
—Steve Barber
What a great day we had this morning!
—Robert K. Oglesby
What if there's an earthquake while we're [flying] in the airplane!?
—Kristen Scott
What this really means is we need a vice-versa of what I have been working on.
—Jim_Drumhiller
What's the situation why they're doing that?
—Jerry_L._Miller
When we send them to school, we miss their absence.
—Danny Hawk
whether it's a weekly or a batchly process
—The Russler
Which one of them is the real Churchill? The answer is yes.
—a guest speaker
You and David are one of a kind.
—Kristen
You are loved for and cared by your Father.
—Steve_Stewart
You can come over tonight if you want to, 'cause I'm not going to have anything on.
—Rita Tompkins (who meant that she had no plans for the evening)
You can wordify anything. Just verb it.
—Spring McManus
You guys are running around like a bunch of chickens cut your heads off.
—Tiffany_Diaz
You have to put these drops in my ear because I can't see.
—Cynthia Thomas
You know, my husband died several times.
—Verna_Mae_Speer
You know . . . what is, I think, the biggest problem in the church today?
—Steve_Lech
[You should make a rule that applies equally to] . . . all races . . . all sexes . . .
—Mark Davis

Here's one more:

I've always been in favor of long sentences because when you are busy typing it doesn't slow you down to add in all that crazy and seemingly unnecessary punctuation that we had to sit through trying to learn in English class in high school not to mention college so I for one think when Hillary becomes president because she's so sweet who else could you vote for that she should along with new healthcare demand that the Constitution or is it the Bill of Rights be amended so run-on sentences become the standard way and speaking of photos here's one I took with my Blackberry but the zoom leaves something to be desired.
—Debra Bentley*

The group that had a "spring fling" on the 18th is called "PrimeTimers," meaning retired aged folks.

I guess the calendar updater thinks it's for the "fringe" members!

I received this very informative request from Bashirah, so naturally I was eager to help out:

THE RUSSLER

Word Wild Web

Dumb Things People Say

Lien À Trois

Elmwood Ct.

E-mail

* Debra was being funny on purpose, but here are examples of run-on sentences from people who might not have known any better.