- BARACK OBAMA
- The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change!
The chicken wanted change!
- JOHN MCCAIN
- My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the
need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
chickens on the other side of the road.
- HILLARY CLINTON
- When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to
cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified
to ensure right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance
it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......
- DR. PHIL
- The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on this side of the road
before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to
do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking
on his current problems before adding new problems.
- Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants
to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
- GEORGE W. BUSH
- We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
- COLIN POWELL
- Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road...
- ANDERSON COOPER (of CNN)
- We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
- JOHN KERRY
- Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am
not for it now, and will remain against it.
- NANCY GRACE
- That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it
in his eyes and the way he walks.
- PAT BUCHANAN
- To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
- MARTHA STEWART
- No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
- DR SEUSS
- Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
- ERNEST HEMINGWAY
- To die in the rain. Alone.
- JERRY FALWELL
- Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?
That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if
you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we
sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain
and as simple as that.
- In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
- BARBARA WALTERS
- Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious
case of molting and went on to accomplish a life long dream of crossing the road.
- It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
- JOHN LENNON
- Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together in peace.
- BILL GATES
- I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet
Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This is a new platform much more stable
and will never cra...#@&&^(C% - - -reboot
- ALBERT EINSTEIN
- Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
- COLONEL SANDERS
- Did I miss one?
- DICK CHENEY
- Where's my gun?