Spoonerisms
The way I understand it, spoonerisms were named for William Archibald Spooner, an educator at Oxford who died in 1930. They occur when the initial (or possibly some other) sounds of two words in a sentence accidently played traces. I mean, trade places.
I had a college professor named Woody Kirk. I love the guy, but half the time when I said his name, it came out "Could he work?"
At the risk of intelling your insultigence, I will follow each example with the intended expression.
Quotes from Spilliam Wooner himself:
- For pure enjoyment, give me a well-boiled icicle.
- well-oiled bicycle
- Is it kisstomary to cuss the bride?
- customary / kiss
- Let us drink to the queer old dean.
- dear / queen
- The Lord is a shoving leopard.
- loving shepherd
- You are occupewing my pie!
- occupying / pew
- You must catch the first town drain.
- down train
- You've hissed my mystery test, and you've tasted the whole worm!
- missed / history // wasted / term
Quotes from a pew other feeple:
- Absitively and posolutely! --Dr. Robert L. Scott
- absolutely / positively
- Can you count the scars in the stye? --Bob_Odle
- stars / sky
- 'Cause you tame and you cook control. --The Russler, trying to sing "You've Made Me So Very Happy"
- came / took
- Chiggers can't be boozers. --The Russler
- beggars / choosers
- Did you see that monarch flutter by?
- butterfly
- Don't go out in the roaring pain.
- pouring rain
- Don't pet the sweaty things.
- sweat / petty
- Don't sit there like a lump on a bog. --The Russler
- bump / log
- Evinotly dent. --Larry Nossaman
- evidently not
- I got my tang tungled.
- tongue tangled
- I have a headache. Do you have a cane pillar? --The Russler
- pain killer
- I need a caring person to tease my ears.
- ease / tears
- I was sitting on a pig billow.
- big pillow
- I'll be bite rack. --The Russler
- right back
- I'm filthy! I'm going to shake a tower!
- take / shower
- Lady Slings The Booze. --The Russler
- sings / blues
- Lot on your knife! --Arnold Schwarzenegger
- not / life
- Most of my friends are failing mentally, but I'm still tarp as a shack! --Ray Kimbrell
- sharp / tack
- The arsonist likes to fight liars.
- light fires
- The road is full of hot poles.
- pot holes
- The store with the zoding loan at the north front door. --Paul Schilla on KDIX radio
- loading zone
- The talk is clicking! --The Russler
- clock / ticking
- They break their own bed! --The Russler
- bake / bread
- Up in flames! What a fuel crate!
- cruel fate
- Watch the boot fall over the pole ghost.
- football // goalpost
- We will leave no tern unstoned. --Kenneth Dowell
- stone / unturned
- Weed 'em and reap! --The Russler
- read / weep
- West Vile Nirus --someone on NPR
- Nile Virus
- Where is your redding wing?
- wedding ring
- You hit the hail right on the Ned. --Michael Ellis
- nail / head
- You must be the bother of the fried. --The Russler
- father / bride
- Young man, you have mad banners!
- bad manners
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Bonus
Nelson_Hardy created a crossword puzzle for
Games_Magazine entitled "Spooner At The
Movies." Here are the applicable clues with their corresponding answers:
| Romantic comedy about mudslingers: | STREWN MUCK |
| Musical about an annoying stylist: | DYES AND GALLS |
| Drama about a sailor's marriage: | WED MAN DOCKING |
| U.K. film about tourists in Iberia: | SPAIN TROTTING |
| Sci-fi comedy about pompous windbags: | BOAST GUSTERS |
| Romance thriller starring Liberace as Shakespeare: | THE GAUDY BARD |
| Courtroom drama about a groundskeeper: | THE MAIN RAKER |