Pat Answers

from my old work group

(and others)

"This doesn't seem to be working. Can you tell me what's wrong? Can you fix it?"
--customer

"That's a good question."
--Andrew Rothfusz
"It depends."
--Laura Rossman
"Eleven days."
--Dave Huggins
"Try resubbing the proc."
--Jay Halvorson
"Try unplugging the refrigerator."
--Len Catanach
"Both."
--Bob White
"Whatever solution you put in, that's the permanent solution."
--Bill Stalker
"Well, are you sure you're using it right?"
--Dana Barrett
"Turn, then push."
--Dave Musgrave
"I can assure you that it will be working within three days."
--Mike Ellis
"That reminds me of a joke."
--Mike Ellis on Fridays
"She's lump."
--Ken Zotigh (I don't know; you figure it out.)
"You need to call the help desk."
--The engineer formerly known as Rich
"You need to enter a system request."
--The Jeff Giesen formerly known as SE
"You need to add that to the project plan."
--Kerry Schock
"I promise to give your ideas full consideration before dismissing them."
--Jerome Obinabo
"It would work much better in Perl."
--Gary G Sanders
"But Perl is a hacker's language."
--Gary G Sanders
"But all of our code compiles!"
--Jay Halvorson
" 'Scuse me?"
--John Fierke
"42."
--David Beck
"I didn't do it!"
--Burt Juarez
"That sounds like a hardware problem."
--Jonathan Polk
"That sounds like a software problem."
--Anyone from the hardware group
"Use the dash-G option."
--Dave Eckert
"It's a training issue."
--The Russler
"I don't know anything about anything."
--Michael Irvin
"$&@*%# Microsoft!"
--Jeff Thompson
"There is no choice."
--Ruston Vickers
"I don't recall."
--Hillary Clinton
"If it's too tough for you, it's just right for me."
--John Czekaj
"I will consult with one of the Senior SEs and get back to you."
--Han Chung
"Try it again."
--Leonard Crow
"Check the manual."
--Sunny Lakhmani
"Absolutely!"
--Anthony Cianferro
"Absolutely not!"
--Anthony Cianferro
"It's wood."
--Steve Barber
"What screen are you using? What error messages are you getting? Does it happen consistently? Did you enter all the data yourself? What's your login ID? Have you tried it on another machine? What other applications do you have running? Is that your natural hair color? What do you mean you want to speak to someone else?"
--Sam Mihdawi
"Ask Sam."
--Marija Claussen
THE RUSSLER
Word Wild Web
Dumb Things People Say
Lien À Trois
Elmwood Court
E-mail