Irish Bull

My Merriam-Webster defines "Irish bull" as "an incongruous statement", and gives this example:
It was hereditary in his family to have no children.

Two classic examples that actually mention the Irish come to mind:
An Irishman is never at peace except when he's fighting.
An Irishman would rather die than to be buried outside of Ireland.

A tombstone in Belterbet, Ireland, reads:
Here lies the body of John Mound,
Lost at sea and never found.

And then there was the time in Dublin in 1902 that Sir Thomas Myles was talking about the Boer War:
Why should Irishmen stand with their arms folded and their hands in their pockets when England has called for aid?
I think I remember reading that the origin of the term was the following statement, but I don't understand it or know what it has to do with anything:
An Irish bull is always pregnant.
Following is a collection of Irish bulls that I have read, overheard, and even caught myself uttering. I hope you enjoy them.
  1. A lot of people in these empty pews are watching the game.
    Robert K. Oglesby, at church on Superbowl night
  2. A lot of people my age are dead at the present time.
    anonymous
  3. A new parameter that's being rewritten.
    Farrell_Wilson
  4. A rugged, whitewater river flowing northward through deep canyons, the New River is among the oldest rivers on the continent.
    online info about New River Gorge National Park
  5. A siren wailed as the people stood in silence.
    radio newscaster
  6. A Taste Of Dallas returns to a brand new location.
    advertisement
  7. Accept me for what I am -- completely unacceptable.
    Ashleigh Brilliant
  8. According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
    Vincent "Jimmy Blue Eyes" Alo
  9. According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.
    anonymous
  10. All my friends and I are crazy. That's the only thing that keeps us sane.
    anonymous
  11. All those without arms, please raise your hands!
    Sergeant addressing recruits
  12. All through trucks must detour.
    traffic sign
  13. Alone is much better together.
    sung by George Strait in "Let's Fall To Pieces Together"
  14. Anarchy may not be the best form of government, but it's better than no government at all.
    anonymous
  15. Anarchy should be the law.
    anonymous
  16. And before one of her auditions there [she] practiced ten hours at the last minute.
    Patricia_George
  17. And he proceeded to stop.
    Ken Zotigh
  18. . . . and some 500 Italians made the trip, in a crowd of only 400.
    David Smith
  19. And their language is unspeakable!
    a teacher in "Jennifer, The Snake Goddess"
  20. And there's ONLY ONE PLACE in the world you'll find the Sleep Number bed: at one of our over 400 stores nationwide.
    Sleep Number ad
  21. And Thursday I didn't even know about it until yesterday.
    overheard on Sunday
  22. And too many moonlight kisses seem to cool in the warmth of the sun.
    E. Heyman & V. Young
  23. Ann, come over here and look how close you're sitting to Russell!
    Verna Lampe
  24. As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
    Wiesert
  25. As soon as the pain is not hurting.
    Sherrie Wiles
  26.  . . . as we count our blessings, we realize we can't count them.
    anonymous
  27.  . . . at Canon . . . fuzzy logic is being used to design a new auto-focus camera!
    Stan Kelly-Bootle
  28. At first, I had second thoughts.
    a west Texan
  29. At the airport, workers handed fliers to passengers asking them to arrive at the airport two hours before their flight.
    newscaster
  30. At the more upscale places, you kind of scale it down a little bit.
    Phil Romano, talking about birthday celebrations at his restaurants Cozymel's, Fuddrucker's, Macaroni Grill, Nick & Sam's, and We Oui
  31. Attorney General Janet Reno is asking for more drug treatment for prisoners, both in and out of jail.
    newscaster
  32. Avoid transporting items without your knowledge.
    airport terminal recording
  33. Be careful -- warning other people can be dangerous.
    Rich Lickfold, trying too hard to make it into The Book
  34. Be different -- conform.
    random adage
  35. Be more or less specific.
    Ken Zotigh
  36. Be quiet and yell!
    Eupora High School Eagles cheerleaders, circa 1969, trying to get the crowd to stop chatting and participate in the cheers. (P.S. It's pronounced "Be quite and Yale!")
  37. Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on a Monday.
    Houston city ordinance
  38. [ Before upgrading the database server: ]
    • Drop the existing "sybsystemprocs" database. [This contains all the stored procedures.]
    • Use the "sp_dropdevice" procedure to drop the "sybsystemprocs" device. [This is a stored procedure.]
    from Sybase step-by-step instructions
  39. Can you hear me in the back?
    often heard at the beginning of a speech
  40. Can't it wait till yesterday?
    anonymous engineer
  41. Can't Read? Click on the Map!
    instructions on a web site
  42. Change is invariably good.
    Dick Brown
  43. Coming home to a place he'd never been before.
    John Denver
  44. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
    anonymous
  45. Cystitis is a living death; it really is. Nobody ever talks about it, but if I was faced with a choice between having my arms removed and getting cystitis, I'd wave goodbye to my arms quite happily.
    Louise Wener
  46. Dear Charlie, I hate you. Love, Martha
    Martha Shedd
  47. Dear Sam, Do not participate in chain letters. Sincerely, Dave.   P.S. Pass it on.
    Dave
  48. Dear Taxpayer: Your permanent certificate of exemption is expiring shortly.
    Massachussetts Department of Revenue
  49. Death to intolerance!
    anonymous
  50. Deep down, this guy is really shallow.
    Jim Hightower
  51. Don't talk to strangers unless you know them.!
    Tom Fitzsimmons
  52. Donate $1 for a free cookie.
    sign in La Madeleine restaurant
  53. Down with categorical imperatives!
    anonymous
  54. Drift appears to be setting in.
    Paul_Cubbage
  55. East Westchester Northstars.
    sports team
  56. Even when you're dead you shouldn't lie down and let yourself be buried.
    someone in England
  57. Every minute was more exciting than the next.
    Linda Evans
  58. Every once in a while, it's always good to . . .
    Robert G. Taylor
  59. Everyone laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
    Randy
  60. Everyone should be a nonconformist.
    anonymous
  61. Exactly what Jay is saying, but a little bit different.
    Jerry_Miller
  62. Expect the worst, it's the least you can do.
    anonymous
  63. Fertility is hereditary. If your parents didn't have any children, neither will you.
    anonymous
  64. Focus on the unseen.
    youth group motto
  65. For flute and percussion (one performer).
    cataloging record for a Harold Genzmer composition
  66. Generally, that is always the case.
    beauty contestant
  67. Generally, you're always going to do that.
    Craig
  68. Good people like me are never self-righteous.
    anonymous
  69. Happy are those who are sad.
    Jesus, in Matthew 5.4
  70. He always asks about them every once in a while.
    The Russler
  71. He gets up at six o'clock no matter what time it is.
    Leo Rosten
  72. He has been instrumental in promoting a cappella music.
    anonymous
  73. He introduced his wife, a widow by the name of Marie Therese.
    Jean-Marie_Frerot
  74. He sideswiped the front of my truck.
    Bill Scott
  75. He spent an hour with me just a second ago.
    Michael Ellis
  76. He went into private practice with a big firm.
    Kathy Scott
  77. He's late 'cause he came in early.
    Burt Juarez
  78.  . . . heat has frozen your motor.
    state trooper in "Death In The Desert"
  79. Her favorite dress is her old blue jeans.
    Garth Brooks
  80. His face was sagging with tension.
    someone in England
  81. His light is dark.
    Myron Bruce
  82. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
    bumper sticker
  83. Hopefully, within 60 to 90 days, people will begin to see immediate activity.
    H. Ross Perot, Jr.
  84. How can I get over the fear of playing in front of people by myself?
    anonymous
  85. How Groucho Marx plans his ad-libs.
    TV Guide cover article
  86. How'd you do at the market?
    Farmer's wife

    Not as well as I expected, but then I didn't expect I would!
    Farmer
  87. [Humanism teaches that] man can do almost anything that he or she wants to do.
    David_Burks
  88. I always like the same thing: variety.
    The Russler
  89. I am not going to sit here and stand for those kind of insults.
    Rush Limbaugh
  90. I believe we are on an irreversible trend . . . but that could change.
    Dan Quayle (possibly)
  91. I bet that hurts a lot more when you're numb.
    Christine Wick
  92. I called you last night, but your phone rang busy.
    anonymous, overheard in an office
  93. I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
    Joe Walsh
  94. [  ] . . . I cannot read or write.
    box to check on a jury summons to gain an exemption
  95. I could see drinking that on a hot cold day.
    Jeannette Scott, referring to frappaccino
  96. I didn't go back to sleep until we got up in the morning.
    Carole Mabrey
  97. I didn't say anything!
    The Russler
    Yeah, but you said plenty of other things!
    Sherri Barber
  98. I distinctly remember forgetting that.
    Robert K. Oglesby
  99. I don't believe in astrology. But then I'm an Aquarius, and Aquarians don't believe in astrology.
    James R. F. Quirk
  100. I don't have time for this -- I'm too bored!
    Dennis Malley
  101. I don't know much more than I know.
    a preacher in Texas
  102. I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it.
    Clarence Darrow
  103. I either have Alzheimer's or amnesia; I don't remember which.
    The Russler
  104. I hate all prejudiced people.
    Robert Scott
  105. I have a theory that it's impossible to prove anything, but I can't prove it.
    Ashleigh Brilliant
  106. I have a two o'clock meeting from nine to eleven.
    Jerry_Miller
  107. I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
    Blaise Pascal
  108. I have nine different cards, but some of them are the same.
    Robert Scott
  109. I have no knowledge . . . or even less.
    Byron_Black
  110. I have opinons of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.
    George H. W. Bush
  111. I just acquired a previous commitment.
    Hawkeye Pierce
  112. I like to watch the sunset come up every morning.
    Kyle Malone
  113. I loathe people who use esoteric language.
    Rich Lickfold, in a shameless attempt to make it into The Book.
  114. I may not live long enough to die!
    The Russler
  115. I never have made a mistake. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
    Steve Hecht
  116. I never heard [the song] "Wake Up Sunshine," and really loved it.
    a fan of Chicago [the band]
  117. I never make blanket statements.
    The Russler
  118. I practically had to slash my wrists to convince them I couldn't stand the sight of blood.
    anonymous
  119. I remember my house full of people, but I don't remember anybody being there.
    anonymous
  120. I sat down . . . to see where we stood.
    Joel Reeves
  121. I say just bleach them black or navy blue.
    Kathy Scott
  122. I stay up nights, tossing and turning in my bed.
    Marie Barone
  123. I think that people who resort to name-calling are dull, disrespectful, stupid, irreverent, moronic, rude, imbecilic, derisive idiots.
    The Russler, in "Dumb Things People Say"
  124. I think there should be a pretty high level of mediocrity required of coaches.
    Robert Scott
  125. I thought I had forwarded this [E-mail] last week. If I did not, here it is again.
    manager
  126. I used to be what I am, but I'm not anymore.
    Georgette
  127. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
    anonymous
  128. I want to be remembered as somebody who scorned the whole idea of wanting to be remembered.
    Ashleigh Brilliant
  129. I want to speak to the pastor personally by phone.
    caller to a church office
  130. I was permanently disturbed for a while.
    anonymous
  131. I was suffering in ecstasy.
    from the song "Double Shot Of My Baby's Love"
  132. I was the first one there, and Trisha was already there.
    Billy Graham
  133. I will establish democracy by dictatorial decree!
    benevolent fascist
  134. I wish it was cold outside so I could wish it was hot.
    Atwater
  135. I work 50 to 60 hours a week every day, six days a week.
    Joel Hope on "Divorce Court"
  136. I worked hard for my welfare benefits.
    anonymous
  137. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
    anonymous
  138. I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
    anonymous
  139. I'm a deeply superficial person.
    Andy Warhol
  140. I'm a grandfather and don't even know it.
    Col. Sherman T. Potter
  141. I'm afraid someday she's going to show up [at work] dead.
    Kathy Scott
  142. I'm happy to be stuck with you.
    sung by Huey Lewis And The News
  143. I'm going to be remembered as "Ron, The Forgotten Man."
    Ron, The Forgotten Man
  144. I'm going to live through this if it kills me!
    Max Klinger
  145. I'm going to quit smoking if it kills me.
    anonymous
  146. I'm not going to gang up on you all by myself.
    Jonathan Scott
  147. I'm not indecisive, I just can't make up my mind.
    Vickie Taylor
  148. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to apologize.
    anonymous, quoted by Sherri Barber
  149. I'm tired of resting.
    Will Geer
  150. I'm writing to tell you I have nothing to say.
    Ashleigh Brilliant
  151. I've already sat today about all I can stand.
    Vonnie Bennet
  152. I've been forgetting things lately. I don't remember having this problem before.
    Kathy Scott
  153. If fainting occurs, contact your doctor.
    self-help instructions
  154. If I can survive death I can probably survive anything.
    Ashleigh Brilliant
  155. If I get there first, I'll make a chalk mark; if you get there first, rub it out.
    Mack & Moran
  156. If I had a little humility, I'd be perfect.
    Ted Turner
  157. If Tchaikovsky were alive today, he'd be turning in his grave.
    someone in England
  158. If that needs immediate action, it will have to wait till Monday.
    anonymous engineer
  159. If the odds are a million to one against something happening, chances are fifty-fifty it will.
    Murphy
  160. If the type on this page is too small to read, you will want to get the large print edition.
    The Russler
  161. If there is a fifty-fifty chance that something can go wrong, then nine times out of ten it will.
    Paul Harvey
  162. If there was a cave-in and it killed me, I could live with that.
    The Russler
  163. If there were a pie here, it would be gone!
    The Russler
  164. If two trains shall meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.
    Kansas state law
  165. If we stop to look at stuff, we aren't going to see anything.
    an adult leading a group of children through a museum
  166. If we're not already, we are by now.
    Ellis Touchton
  167. If you are here and you need to respond . . . 
    often heard at the end of a sermon
  168. If you are unable read this email, you can see it here.
    an E-mail I couldn't see, but I could read . . . no, I mean . . .
  169. If you can't view this email, click here.
    E-mail from American Musical Supply
  170. If you don't get this letter, return it to me and I'll be happy to photocopy it for you.
    The Russler
  171. If you fall and break both your legs, don't come running to me!
    Mom
  172. If you missed it, you have one last chance to see it again.
    ad for "The Bachelorette," which I've never seen but hope to see again
  173. If you used to be here . . . but you're not here now, stand up.
    Robert K. Oglesby
  174. If you weren't in one of the less than a dozen empty seats at Friday Night's Evening At Pops, . . . you really missed something.
    Ayer Public Spirit
  175. In a race of far less importance, but not much less . . . 
    Mark Davis
  176. In love again for the first time.
    Carole King
  177. In 1994 I worked almost three years in crime prevention.
    a Richardson, Texas policeman
  178. Include me out!
    probably attributed to Yogi Berra
  179. India is the finest climate under the sun; but a lot of young fellows come out here, and they drink and they eat, and they drink and they die: and then they write home to their parents a pack of lies, say it's the climate that has killed them.
    Sir Colin Campbell, British officer charged by British War Department to report on morale problems with the British army in India
  180. Inform all the troops that communications have completely broken down.
    Ashleigh Brilliant
  181. Instructions for extracting files from this diskette are contained on a file on this diskette.
    from the contents of a file on a diskette
  182. Is everyone here? Raise you're hand if you aren't.
    anonymous
  183. It all comes out on the inside eventually.
    Steely Dan
  184. It certainly is not certain yet.
    anonymous
  185. It costs three times as much for two to live as cheap as one.
    song "Oh Why Did I Get Married?"
  186. It makes neither sense nor nonsense.
    Carlston
  187. It might ultimately be tried first in Europe.
    radio announcer on KRLD
  188. It occurred to me lately that nothing has occurred to me lately.
    Ashleigh Brilliant
  189. It sank right to the top.
    Jeff Feath
  190. It seems, from what I gather, to be one of those simple cases which are so extremely difficult.
    Sherlock Holmes
  191. It turned up missing.
    many people
  192. It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
    Mark Twain
  193. It was the same as a two-room school house, except that it was three rooms.
    Robert Scott
  194. It wasn't completely opaque.
    anonymous
  195. It's expensive, but it's cheap.
    Len Catanach
  196. It's good to be bad.
    Bobby Womack
  197. It's great to be back in the city of Boston . . . again . . . for the very first time.
    Emo Phillips
  198. It's Hip To Be Square
    sung by Huey Lewis And The News
  199. It's not an optical illusion; it just looks like one.
    Phil White
  200. It's not every day you see snow in June.
    Jeannette Scott
  201. It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
    Woody Allen
  202. It's on the same side of the street from that, right across the street from it.
    Robert Scott
  203. It's one of those movies where you knew exactly what was going to happen before you ever saw it, if you saw it.
    Jeannette Scott
  204. . . . It's real! It's fiction! . . .
    Oprah Winfrey, promoting a book on her TV show
  205. It's south of Abilene, but I don't know which direction.
    Kathy Scott
  206. It's unanimous -- we agree on nothing.
    overheard at a business meeting
  207. It's unlucky to be superstitious.
    Ashleigh Brilliant
  208. Jerome saw that and wanted to buy it sight unseen.
    David Beck
  209. John Redwood is a young man, but, let's face it, so was Margaret Thatcher in 1975.
    Edward Leigh
  210. Just because they are alike, doesn't mean they are the same.
    John Kevin Brown
  211. Just a few more hours, and I'll be right home to you.
    sung by KISS
  212. Keep your eyes opened behind you.
    Rush Limbaugh
  213. Keep your mouth shut and eat everything on your plate.
    Mom
  214. Lethargy is beginning to kick in.
    anonymous
  215. Like a lot of you . . . I'd be first in line to buy it.
    a Chicago fan (How many people can be first in line?)
  216. Marlon Brando in his own words: Songs My Mother Taught Me.
    radio commercial
  217. Man, when I tell you she was cool, she was red hot.
    sung by Thin Lizzy
  218. Move slow as fast as you can.
    Capt. Cragen on "Law And Order"
  219. My life is simply too complicated.
    anonymous
  220. Never listen to advice.
    anonymous
  221. Never say "never," and never say "always," because there's always an exception.
    Dewey_Leggett, producing a double IB
  222. No refreshments shall be supplied to any member after the above named hours, and none shall be supplied for consumption off the club premises except to a member on the premises at the time.
    private club rule
  223. None of us got to sit all together.
    anonymous
  224. Notice: This garment meets the general wearing apparel requirements of the Flammable Fabrics Act; however, it is flammable and should not be worn near sources of fire.
    tag on item of apparel from Wear Guard of Norwell, Massachussetts
  225. Oh, and if you don't have E-mail, then call me at 301-4556.
    John Fierke, at the bottom of an E-mail
  226. Oh, we are so wet, but we are staying dry.
    Chad Gardner (a.k.a.Blister Boy), when asked about the weather
  227. Ohio is the birthplace of more Presidents than any other state -- eight. Virginia also has 8.
    Key to the City website (By the way, only seven presidents were born in Ohio.)
  228. Once I get started, I don't know where to begin.
    anonymous
  229. One after another, they did not come back.
    Henry Crow Dog
  230. one-of-a-kind women . . . just like you
    StartTV
  231. One of the center's largest events is on National Coming Out Day in the fall. Students are able to share their coming out stories in person or anonymously, Winser-Johns said.
    Makenzie_Plusnick   (Nothing like coming out anonymously!)
  232. One of the worst of my many faults is that I'm too critical of myself.
    Ashleigh Brilliant
  233. Place contents of package in covered casserole dish.
    prepared food instructions
  234. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
    anonymous
  235. Predestination was doomed from the start.
    anonymous
  236. Promote the use of minority businesses, women-owned businesses and other disadvantaged businesses. Ensure that the suppliers that you are working with do not condone discriminatory practices.
    EDS
  237. Regardless of anything to the contrary in this booklet, if your medical insurance terminates for any reason including death, you . . . may elect within 30 days . . . to continue such medical insurance . . . 
    Consolidated Group Trust
  238. Remember me? I'm the one who never made any impression on you.
    Ashleigh Brilliant
  239. Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
    Werner von Braun
  240. Resolved: That we shall build a new courthouse.
    Resolved: That the new courthouse shall be built using materials from the old courthouse.
    Resolved: That the old courthouse shall remain in use until the completion of the new courthouse.
    a county commission in Mississippi
  241. Right now we have a special where you can get 500 minutes for $50 for free.
    Darren the cellular telephone salesman
  242. Roderick Vereen, a public defender, had filed a motion to delay [Mr.] Hill's execution until after Hill had served his federal sentence of life in prison.
    Associated Press
  243. San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.
    Herb Caen
  244. Secret marriages are not allowed.
    private college rule
  245. She never told me she was a mime.
    Al
  246. She was never at home going out with me.
    The Russler
  247. She was the last of an endless line . . .
    a widow, talking about her late husband's mistress
  248. She's afraid they'll starve to death for the rest of their lives.
    Kathy Scott
  249. She's not able to get around, and she's been traveling quite a bit.
    Robin Roberts on "Good Morning America"
  250. She's the boy I'll never have.
    Kyle Malone, referring to one of his daughters
  251. 60% of them were minorities.
    Bill Rathburn, Dallas police chief
  252. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.
    Apostle Paul, in Second Corinthians 4.18
  253. Some Of My Lies Are True.
    sung by Huey Lewis And The News
  254. Some people in this department wouldn't recognize sublety if it hit them on the head.
    anonymous
  255. Someday I'm going to look back on this nightmare and think of it as just a bad dream.
    B. J. Honeycutt
  256. Something is missing. Can you spot it?
    Ashleigh Banfield
  257. something that we thought was unthinkable
    Robert K. Oglesby
  258. Sometime I'd like to be here when I'm gone.
    Beetle Bailey's Sarge
  259. Sounds like it's going to be a great film. I hope they release it sooner than they shot it.
    deejay
  260. Spare no expense to make everything as economical as possible.
    Sam Goldwyn
  261. Spontenaity is all right, provided they can rehearse it first.
    Edwin Newman
  262. Stage right as you look at the stage.
    D._Rice (In other words, stage left.)
  263. Stop calling me immature, or I'll tell on you!
    anonymous
  264. Thanks for all your help, especially the other night when [the] RAD [system] crashed for the day.
    Jeff Feath
  265. That's the only reason I bring it up. The other reason I bring it up is . . . 
    Andrew P. Smith
  266. The city of Pompeii was frozen by hot lava.
    Robert K. Oglesby
  267. The commercials aren't louder; they just sound louder.
    TV engineer James Withrow
  268. The difference is the same.
    Dale Jensen
  269. The first step in remembering a person's name is to:
    1. Hear the person's name clearly.
    2. Get a clear impression of the person as a person.
    Dale Carnegie
  270.   *  
  271. The generating of random numbers is far too important to be left to chance.
    anonymous
  272. The help I need most urgently is admitting that I need help.
    Ashleigh Brilliant
  273. The interests of the employers and the employed are the same nine times out of ten -- I will even say ninety-nine times out of ten.
    Lord Curzon
  274.  . . . the longer I stayed, the more I saw; and what I saw [was] their eyes . . . when you look into those eyes you see nothing.
    Ana Martinez
  275. The New York City Metropolitan Area has more people than the entire state of New York!!
    Key to the City website
  276. The odds are a million to one against my being one in a million.
    Ashleigh Brilliant
  277. The only difference that I see is that you are exactly as you used to be.
    sung by The Wallflowers
  278. The Orthodox Church changes only in order to remain the same.
    anonymous
  279. The risk is minimal, at the most.
    Dr._Earl_R._Lund,_M.D., trying to convince a patient that the best it can be is the worst it can be
  280. The sound is unbelievable. You're gonna have to hear it to believe it.
    Shaun
  281. The superfluous is very necessary.
    Voltaire
  282. The three most important things to me are math and winning.
    Sgt. Canady
  283. The three of us will make a lovely couple.
    Neil Simon
  284. The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that would be clearly understood.
    Alexander Haig
  285. The whole thing is solid stripes.
    Kathy Scott
  286. The winding road I traveled led me straight to your heart.
    sung by Chicago
  287. There are two ways to write error-free [computer] programs. Only the third one works.
    anonymous
  288. There are no wrong answers in unschooling, and there is room to learn from error.
    an unschooler (No wrong answers? Then where's the error?)
  289. There is a customer from the PA EBT project sitting in the empty cube across from Gregg Hayes.
    someone at work
  290. There is a vast degree of sleaze, more than actually exists.
    Robin Oakley
  291. There is more pure chocolate in our all-butter cookies than any other ingredient.
    Safeway label
  292. There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
    anonymous
  293. There is nothing so important as trifles.
    Sherlock Holmes
  294. There she was -- gone!
    German farmer
  295. There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting.
    George Carlin
  296. There's a time for laughing, and there's a time for not laughing; this is not one of them.
    Inspector Clousseau
  297. There's no future in time travel.
    anonymous
  298. There's no such thing as an anonymous procedure. At least not that I know of.
    Gary Sanders
  299. These are my three sons. They're twins!
    anonymous
  300. These are similar in different ways.
    anonymous engineer
  301. They are always in rare form.
    a Chicago fan
  302. They found their way back to a place they'd never been.
    movie preview
  303. They had a little boy who was tall and big.
    Robert K. Oglesby
  304. They had to return to their destinations.
    reporter on the FAA shutdown, referring to planes in mid-flight
  305. They have one of those floor fans on a stand.
    Elizabeth Wright
  306. They may decide not to make a decision.
    Robert_X._Cringely
  307. They need to get in their places before they come in.
    overheard before a chorus performance
  308. They was goin' to either walk away alive, or they was goin' to walk away dead.
    someone on a show about the intelligence of chickens
  309. They were empty, but they were full of cards.
    anonymous
  310. They were laughing in my face behind my back.
    The Russler
  311. They worship inamimate objects and other living things.
    Rush Limbaugh
  312. They'll probably cut my head off and hang me by the neck.
    The Russler
  313. They're both unique in the same way.
    anonymous
  314. Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
    anonymous
  315. This is the exception that proves the rule.
    anonymous engineer
  316. This version is very similar to version 2.11, with several changes.
    anonymous
  317. This was the best waste of time I ever had.
    Tom Cochrane
  318. Three unrelated things that have something in common.
    Carole Mabry, guessing at an answer in Tri-Bond, a board game whose aim is similar to
    Lien À Trois.
  319. Too much is not enough.
    sung by the Bellamy Brothers
  320. Try to move slowly but swiftly.
    Shannon from House Improvements
  321. Two things he was not able to do before, he's beginning to be able to do again.
    John Madden
  322. Unless faced with emergencies, the IAS team commits to the following intervals. . . .
    In order to meet the time guidelines, emergencies will no longer be accepted.
    the IAS team
  323. Usually I gain weight every time I go on vacation.
    someone advertising a weight loss product
  324. Vote Anarchist
    bumper sticker
  325. Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
    Mark Twain.
  326. Watch for invisible blocks.
    SuperBlast instructions
  327. Watch me and get off one stop before I do.
    overheard on a bus
  328. We are always proving that "nothing is constant, but change."
    Gayle Diane Cordell
  329. We are on a journey that requires patience combined with a sense of urgency to get there as quickly as we can.
    overheard
  330. We didn't refuse; we just said no.
    Michael Kirk
  331. We fell silent, remarking, "The will of the Lord be done!"
    Luke, in Acts 21.14
  332. We have a three month release cycle, and almost four months of that is testing.
    Dale Jensen
  333. We need to know what the invisible screens look like.
    Dave_Mitchell
  334. We think it has a much better chance to be as good as always.
    Labron_Harris,_Jr.
  335. We were so busy, we didn't do anything.
    Alecia Ragan
  336. We will fight to the death for our pacifist aims.
    anonymous
  337. We'd better start early so if we're late, we'll be on time.
    Durward Cline
  338. We're all in this alone.
    Lily Tomlin
  339. We’re not quite ready, so give me a couple of minutes and we’ll call you back in a second.
    conference call participant
  340. We've been through it all -- and more.
    Rachel_Drayer
  341. We're the only secret organization in the world that no one's ever heard of!
    Maxwell Smart
  342. Well, it's very similar to this, but it's a lot different.
    antique mall customer
  343. What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
    Ursula_K._LeGuin
  344. What's your phone number?
    B. Grace's mother, asked of him over the phone when she initiated the call
  345. Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
    Mahatma Gandhi
  346. When I am weak, then I am strong.
    Apostle Paul, in Second Corinthians 12.10
  347. When I got on Woodall Rogers [Freeway], it [the traffic] stopped, and it stayed stopped until I got past LBJ [Freeway].
    Charles_Bentley, who didn't explain how he traveled a dozen miles while stopped
  348. When I think of how I prayed he would get well, I could murder him.
    anonymous
  349. When you get to be my age, you start to lose your eyesight, your hearing, and . . . let's see . . . what was the other thing?
    Grandma Lewis
  350. Why isn't there some cheap and easy way I can prove how much you mean to me?
    Ashleigh Brilliant
  351. Why do I have to stop living to keep from dying?
    Michael Ellis, talking about dieting
  352. Working for these people would put gray hairs on a bald man!
    anonymous
  353. Would you care to drift aimlessly in my direction?
    Ashleigh Brilliant
  354. Y'all be quiet and yell!
    high school cheerleader trying to keep kids from chatting during a pep rally
  355. Yesterday it took her almost a day and a half.
    Sprint employee
  356. You are unique -- just like everybody else.
    Laurie Varley
  357. You can count on an unpredictable number of wild cards.
    Games magazine
  358. You can use the "readonly" command to ensure that the value of a variable cannot be changed.
    Mark Sobell, who needs to explain the meaning of "variable" to me again
  359. You have a great future, even if the future isn't what it used to be.
    Yogi Berra, to a graduating class
  360. You have reached Jim Galloway. I'm not available right now . . . 
    Jim Galloway's voice
  361. You should have been there after you left.
    Michael Kirk
  362. Your mind has to be working all of the time most of the time.
    Robert L. Scott, on being a teacher

  *   This reminds me of the printed instructions I received with something I bought.
In large letters, they proclaimed, "AS EASY AS 1, 2, 3!"
Following that were several pages outlining eleven steps.

Many of these are anonymous because I collected them a while before I started writing down the source.
THE RUSSLER
Word Wild Web
Dumb Things People Say
Lien À Trois
Elmwood Court
E-mail