Irish Bull

My Merriam-Webster defines "Irish bull" as "an incongruous statement", and gives this example:

It was hereditary in his family to have no children.

Two classic examples that actually mention the Irish come to mind:

An Irishman is never at peace except when he's fighting.

An Irishman would rather die than to be buried outside of Ireland.

A tombstone in Belterbet, Ireland, reads:

Here lies the body of John Mound,

Lost at sea and never found.

And then there was the time in Dublin in 1902 that Sir Thomas Myles was talking about the Boer War:

Why should Irishmen stand with their arms folded and their hands in their pockets when England has called for aid?

I think I remember reading that the origin of the term was the following statement, but I don't understand it or know what it has to do with anything:

An Irish bull is always pregnant.

1. A lot of people in these empty pews are watching the game.
   Robert K. Oglesby, at church on Superbowl night
2. A lot of people my age are dead at the present time.
   anonymous
3. A new parameter that's being rewritten.
   Farrell_Wilson
4. A rugged, whitewater river flowing northward through deep canyons, the New River is among the oldest rivers on the continent.
   online info about New River Gorge National Park
5. A siren wailed as the people stood in silence.
   radio newscaster
6. A Taste Of Dallas returns to a brand new location.
   advertisement
7. Accept me for what I am -- completely unacceptable.
   Ashleigh Brilliant
8. According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
   Vincent "Jimmy Blue Eyes" Alo
9. According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.
   anonymous
10. All my friends and I are crazy. That's the only thing that keeps us sane.
    anonymous
11. All those without arms, please raise your hands!
    Sergeant addressing recruits
12. All through trucks must detour.
    traffic sign
13. Alone is much better together.
    sung by George Strait in "Let's Fall To Pieces Together"
14. Anarchy may not be the best form of government, but it's better than no government at all.
    anonymous
15. Anarchy should be the law.
    anonymous
16. And before one of her auditions there [she] practiced ten hours at the last minute.
    Patricia_George
17. And he proceeded to stop.
    Ken Zotigh
18. . . . and some 500 Italians made the trip, in a crowd of only 400.
    David Smith
19. And their language is unspeakable!
    a teacher in "Jennifer, The Snake Goddess"
20. And there's ONLY ONE PLACE in the world you'll find the Sleep Number bed: at one of our over 400 stores nationwide.
    Sleep Number ad
21. And Thursday I didn't even know about it until yesterday.
    overheard on Sunday
22. And too many moonlight kisses seem to cool in the warmth of the sun.
    E. Heyman & V. Young
23. Ann, come over here and look how close you're sitting to Russell!
    Verna Lampe
24. As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
    Wiesert
25. As soon as the pain is not hurting.
    Sherrie Wiles
26.  . . . as we count our blessings, we realize we can't count them.
    anonymous
27.  . . . at Canon . . . fuzzy logic is being used to design a new auto-focus camera!
    Stan Kelly-Bootle
28. At first, I had second thoughts.
    a west Texan
29. At the airport, workers handed fliers to passengers asking them to arrive at the airport two hours before their flight.
    newscaster
30. At the more upscale places, you kind of scale it down a little bit.
    Phil Romano, talking about birthday celebrations at his restaurants Cozymel's, Fuddrucker's, Macaroni Grill, Nick & Sam's, and We Oui
31. Attorney General Janet Reno is asking for more drug treatment for prisoners, both in and out of jail.
    newscaster
32. Avoid transporting items without your knowledge.
    airport terminal recording
33. Be careful -- warning other people can be dangerous.
    Rich Lickfold, trying too hard to make it into The Book
34. Be different -- conform.
    random adage
35. Be more or less specific.
    Ken Zotigh
36. Be quiet and yell!
    Eupora High School Eagles cheerleaders, circa 1969, trying to get the crowd to stop chatting and participate in the cheers. (P.S. It's pronounced "Be quite and Yale!")
37. Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but it may be purchased on a Monday.
    Houston city ordinance
38. [ Before upgrading the database server: ]
    
    • Drop the existing "sybsystemprocs" database. [This contains all the stored procedures.]
    • Use the "sp_dropdevice" procedure to drop the "sybsystemprocs" device. [This is a stored procedure.]
    from Sybase step-by-step instructions
39. Can you hear me in the back?
    often heard at the beginning of a speech
40. Can't it wait till yesterday?
    anonymous engineer
41. Can't Read? Click on the Map!
    instructions on a web site
42. Change is invariably good.
    Dick Brown
43. Coming home to a place he'd never been before.
    John Denver
44. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
    anonymous
45. Cystitis is a living death; it really is. Nobody ever talks about it, but if I was faced with a choice between having my arms removed and getting cystitis, I'd wave goodbye to my arms quite happily.
    Louise Wener
46. Dear Charlie, I hate you. Love, Martha
    Martha Shedd
47. Dear Sam, Do not participate in chain letters. Sincerely, Dave.   P.S. Pass it on.
    Dave
48. Dear Taxpayer: Your permanent certificate of exemption is expiring shortly.
    Massachussetts Department of Revenue
49. Death to intolerance!
    anonymous
50. Deep down, this guy is really shallow.
    Jim Hightower
51. Don't talk to strangers unless you know them.!
    Tom Fitzsimmons
52. Donate $1 for a free cookie.
    sign in La Madeleine restaurant
53. Down with categorical imperatives!
    anonymous
54. Drift appears to be setting in.
    Paul_Cubbage
55. East Westchester Northstars.
    sports team
56. Even when you're dead you shouldn't lie down and let yourself be buried.
    someone in England
57. Every minute was more exciting than the next.
    Linda Evans
58. Every once in a while, it's always good to . . .
    Robert G. Taylor
59. Everyone laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
    Randy
60. Everyone should be a nonconformist.
    anonymous
61. Exactly what Jay is saying, but a little bit different.
    Jerry_Miller
62. Expect the worst, it's the least you can do.
    anonymous
63. Fertility is hereditary. If your parents didn't have any children, neither will you.
    anonymous
64. Focus on the unseen.
    youth group motto
65. For flute and percussion (one performer).
    cataloging record for a Harold Genzmer composition
66. Generally, that is always the case.
    beauty contestant
67. Generally, you're always going to do that.
    Craig
68. Good people like me are never self-righteous.
    anonymous
69. Happy are those who are sad.
    Jesus, in Matthew 5.4
70. He always asks about them every once in a while.
    The Russler
71. He died very young, and he was an elder.
    Reed_Swindle
72. He gets up at six o'clock no matter what time it is.
    Leo Rosten
73. He has been instrumental in promoting a cappella music.
    anonymous
74. He introduced his wife, a widow by the name of Marie Therese.
    Jean-Marie_Frerot
75. He sideswiped the front of my truck.
    Bill Scott
76. He spent an hour with me just a second ago.
    Michael Ellis
77. He went into private practice with a big firm.
    Kathy Scott
78. He's late 'cause he came in early.
    Burt Juarez
79.  . . . heat has frozen your motor.
    state trooper in "Death In The Desert"
80. Her favorite dress is her old blue jeans.
    Garth Brooks
81. His face was sagging with tension.
    someone in England
82. His light is dark.
    Myron Bruce
83. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
    bumper sticker
84. Hopefully, within 60 to 90 days, people will begin to see immediate activity.
    H. Ross Perot, Jr.
85. How can I get over the fear of playing in front of people by myself?
    anonymous
86. How Groucho Marx plans his ad-libs.
    TV Guide cover article
87. How'd you do at the market?
    Farmer's wife
    Not as well as I expected, but then I didn't expect I would!
    Farmer
88. [Humanism teaches that] man can do almost anything that he or she wants to do.
    David_Burks
89. I always like the same thing: variety.
    The Russler
90. I am not going to sit here and stand for those kind of insults.
    Rush Limbaugh
91. I believe we are on an irreversible trend . . . but that could change.
    Dan Quayle (possibly)
92. I bet that hurts a lot more when you're numb.
    Christine Wick
93. I called you last night, but your phone rang busy.
    anonymous, overheard in an office
94. I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.
    Joe Walsh
95. [  ] . . . I cannot read or write.
    box to check on a jury summons to gain an exemption
96. I could see drinking that on a hot cold day.
    Jeannette Scott, referring to frappaccino
97. I didn't go back to sleep until we got up in the morning.
    Carole Mabrey
98. I didn't say anything!
    The Russler
    Yeah, but you said plenty of other things!
    Sherri Barber
99. I distinctly remember forgetting that.
    Robert K. Oglesby
100. I don't believe in astrology. But then I'm an Aquarius, and Aquarians don't believe in astrology.
     James R. F. Quirk
101. I don't have time for this -- I'm too bored!
     Dennis Malley
102. I don't know much more than I know.
     a preacher in Texas
103. I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it.
     Clarence Darrow
104. I either have Alzheimer's or amnesia; I don't remember which.
     The Russler
105. I hate all prejudiced people.
     Robert Scott
106. I have a theory that it's impossible to prove anything, but I can't prove it.
     Ashleigh Brilliant
107. I have a two o'clock meeting from nine to eleven.
     Jerry_Miller
108. I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
     Blaise Pascal
109. I have nine different cards, but some of them are the same.
     Robert Scott
110. I have no knowledge . . . or even less.
     Byron_Black
111. I have opinons of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.
     George H. W. Bush
112. I just acquired a previous commitment.
     Hawkeye Pierce
113. I like to watch the sunset come up every morning.
     Kyle Malone
114. I loathe people who use esoteric language.
     Rich Lickfold, in a shameless attempt to make it into The Book.
115. I may not live long enough to die!
     The Russler
116. I never have made a mistake. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
     Steve Hecht
117. I never heard [the song] "Wake Up Sunshine," and really loved it.
     a fan of Chicago [the band]
118. I never make blanket statements.
     The Russler
119. I practically had to slash my wrists to convince them I couldn't stand the sight of blood.
     anonymous
120. I remember my house full of people, but I don't remember anybody being there.
     anonymous
121. I sat down . . . to see where we stood.
     Joel Reeves
122. I say just bleach them black or navy blue.
     Kathy Scott
123. I stay up nights, tossing and turning in my bed.
     Marie Barone
124. I think that people who resort to name-calling are dull, disrespectful, stupid, irreverent, moronic, rude, imbecilic, derisive idiots.
     The Russler, in "Dumb Things People Say"
125. I think there should be a pretty high level of mediocrity required of coaches.
     Robert Scott
126. I think there's someone in this house, and I'm here alone.
     TV charater making a 911 call
127. I thought I had forwarded this [E-mail] last week. If I did not, here it is again.
     manager
128. I used to be what I am, but I'm not anymore.
     Georgette
129. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
     anonymous
130. I want to be remembered as somebody who scorned the whole idea of wanting to be remembered.
     Ashleigh Brilliant
131. I want to speak to the pastor personally by phone.
     caller to a church office
132. I was permanently disturbed for a while.
     anonymous
133. I was suffering in ecstasy.
     from the song "Double Shot Of My Baby's Love"
134. I was the first one there, and Trisha was already there.
     Billy Graham
135. I will establish democracy by dictatorial decree!
     benevolent fascist
136. I wish it was cold outside so I could wish it was hot.
     Atwater
137. I work 50 to 60 hours a week every day, six days a week.
     Joel Hope on "Divorce Court"
138. I worked hard for my welfare benefits.
     anonymous
139. I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
     anonymous
140. I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
     anonymous
141. I'm a deeply superficial person.
     Andy Warhol
142. I'm a grandfather and don't even know it.
     Col. Sherman T. Potter
143. I'm afraid someday she's going to show up [at work] dead.
     Kathy Scott
144. I'm happy to be stuck with you.
     sung by Huey Lewis And The News
145. I'm going to be remembered as "Ron, The Forgotten Man."
     Ron, The Forgotten Man
146. I'm going to live through this if it kills me!
     Max Klinger
147. I'm going to quit smoking if it kills me.
     anonymous
148. I'm not going to gang up on you all by myself.
     Jonathan Scott
149. I'm not indecisive, I just can't make up my mind.
     Vickie Taylor
150. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to apologize.
     anonymous, quoted by Sherri Barber
151. I'm tired of resting.
     Will Geer
152. I'm writing to tell you I have nothing to say.
     Ashleigh Brilliant
153. I've already sat today about all I can stand.
     Vonnie Bennet
154. I've been forgetting things lately. I don't remember having this problem before.
     Kathy Scott
155. If fainting occurs, contact your doctor.
     self-help instructions
156. If I can survive death I can probably survive anything.
     Ashleigh Brilliant
157. If I get there first, I'll make a chalk mark; if you get there first, rub it out.
     Mack & Moran
158. If I had a little humility, I'd be perfect.
     Ted Turner
159. If Tchaikovsky were alive today, he'd be turning in his grave.
     someone in England
160. If that needs immediate action, it will have to wait till Monday.
     anonymous engineer
161. If the odds are a million to one against something happening, chances are fifty-fifty it will.
     Murphy
162. If the type on this page is too small to read, you will want to get the large print edition.
     The Russler
163. If there is a fifty-fifty chance that something can go wrong, then nine times out of ten it will.
     Paul Harvey
164. If there was a cave-in and it killed me, I could live with that.
     The Russler
165. If there were a pie here, it would be gone!
     The Russler
166. If two trains shall meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.
     Kansas state law
167. If we stop to look at stuff, we aren't going to see anything.
     an adult leading a group of children through a museum
168. If we're not already, we are by now.
     Ellis Touchton
169. If you are here and you need to respond . . . 
     often heard at the end of a sermon
170. If you are unable read this email, you can see it here.
     an E-mail I couldn't see, but I could read . . . no, I mean . . .
171. If you can't view this email, click here.
     E-mail from American Musical Supply
172. If you don't get this letter, return it to me and I'll be happy to photocopy it for you.
     The Russler
173. If you fall and break both your legs, don't come running to me!
     Mom
174. If you missed it, you have one last chance to see it again.
     ad for "The Bachelorette," which I've never seen but hope to see again
175. If you used to be here . . . but you're not here now, stand up.
     Robert K. Oglesby
176. If you weren't in one of the less than a dozen empty seats at Friday Night's Evening At Pops, . . . you really missed something.
     Ayer Public Spirit
177. In a race of far less importance, but not much less . . . 
     Mark Davis
178. In love again for the first time.
     Carole King
179. In 1994 I worked almost three years in crime prevention.
     a Richardson, Texas policeman
180. Include me out!
     probably attributed to Yogi Berra
181. India is the finest climate under the sun; but a lot of young fellows come out here, and they drink and they eat, and they drink and they die: and then they write home to their parents a pack of lies, say it's the climate that has killed them.
     Sir Colin Campbell, British officer charged by British War Department to report on morale problems with the British army in India
182. Inform all the troops that communications have completely broken down.
     Ashleigh Brilliant
183. Instructions for extracting files from this diskette are contained on a file on this diskette.
     from the contents of a file on a diskette
184. Is everyone here? Raise you're hand if you aren't.
     anonymous
185. It all comes out on the inside eventually.
     Steely Dan
186. It certainly is not certain yet.
     anonymous
187. It costs three times as much for two to live as cheap as one.
     song "Oh Why Did I Get Married?"
188. It makes neither sense nor nonsense.
     Carlston
189. It might ultimately be tried first in Europe.
     radio announcer on KRLD
190. It occurred to me lately that nothing has occurred to me lately.
     Ashleigh Brilliant
191. It sank right to the top.
     Jeff Feath
192. It seems, from what I gather, to be one of those simple cases which are so extremely difficult.
     Sherlock Holmes
193. It turned up missing.
     many people
194. It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
     Mark Twain
195. It was the same as a two-room school house, except that it was three rooms.
     Robert Scott
196. It wasn't completely opaque.
     anonymous
197. It's expensive, but it's cheap.
     Len Catanach
198. It's good to be bad.
     Bobby Womack
199. It's great to be back in the city of Boston . . . again . . . for the very first time.
     Emo Phillips
200. It's Hip To Be Square
     sung by Huey Lewis And The News
201. It's not an optical illusion; it just looks like one.
     Phil White
202. It's not every day you see snow in June.
     Jeannette Scott
203. It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
     Woody Allen
204. It's on the same side of the street from that, right across the street from it.
     Robert Scott
205. It's one of those movies where you knew exactly what was going to happen before you ever saw it, if you saw it.
     Jeannette Scott
206. . . . It's real! It's fiction! . . .
     Oprah Winfrey, promoting a book on her TV show
207. It's south of Abilene, but I don't know which direction.
     Kathy Scott
208. It's unanimous -- we agree on nothing.
     overheard at a business meeting
209. It's unlucky to be superstitious.
     Ashleigh Brilliant
210. Jerome saw that and wanted to buy it sight unseen.
     David Beck
211. John Redwood is a young man, but, let's face it, so was Margaret Thatcher in 1975.
     Edward Leigh
212. Just because they are alike, doesn't mean they are the same.
     John Kevin Brown
213. Just a few more hours, and I'll be right home to you.
     sung by KISS
214. Keep your eyes opened behind you.
     Rush Limbaugh
215. Keep your mouth shut and eat everything on your plate.
     Mom
216. Lethargy is beginning to kick in.
     anonymous
217. Like a lot of you . . . I'd be first in line to buy it.
     a Chicago fan (How many people can be first in line?)
218. Marlon Brando in his own words: Songs My Mother Taught Me.
     radio commercial
219. Man, when I tell you she was cool, she was red hot.
     sung by Thin Lizzy
220. Move slow as fast as you can.
     Capt. Cragen on "Law And Order"
221. My life is simply too complicated.
     anonymous
222. Never listen to advice.
     anonymous
223. Never say "never," and never say "always," because there's always an exception.
     Dewey_Leggett, producing a double IB
224. No refreshments shall be supplied to any member after the above named hours, and none shall be supplied for consumption off the club premises except to a member on the premises at the time.
     private club rule
225. None of us got to sit all together.
     anonymous
226. Notice: This garment meets the general wearing apparel requirements of the Flammable Fabrics Act; however, it is flammable and should not be worn near sources of fire.
     tag on item of apparel from Wear Guard of Norwell, Massachussetts
227. Oh, and if you don't have E-mail, then call me at 301-4556.
     John Fierke, at the bottom of an E-mail
228. Oh, we are so wet, but we are staying dry.
     Chad Gardner (a.k.a.Blister Boy), when asked about the weather
229. Ohio is the birthplace of more Presidents than any other state -- eight. Virginia also has 8.
     Key to the City website (By the way, only seven presidents were born in Ohio.)
230. Once I get started, I don't know where to begin.
     anonymous
231. One after another, they did not come back.
     Henry Crow Dog
232. one-of-a-kind women . . . just like you
     StartTV
233. One of the center's largest events is on National Coming Out Day in the fall. Students are able to share their coming out stories in person or anonymously, Winser-Johns said.
     Makenzie_Plusnick   (Nothing like coming out anonymously!)
234. One of the worst of my many faults is that I'm too critical of myself.
     Ashleigh Brilliant
235. Place contents of package in covered casserole dish.
     prepared food instructions
236. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
     anonymous
237. Predestination was doomed from the start.
     anonymous
238. Promote the use of minority businesses, women-owned businesses and other disadvantaged businesses. Ensure that the suppliers that you are working with do not condone discriminatory practices.
     EDS
239. Regardless of anything to the contrary in this booklet, if your medical insurance terminates for any reason including death, you . . . may elect within 30 days . . . to continue such medical insurance . . . 
     Consolidated Group Trust
240. Remember me? I'm the one who never made any impression on you.
     Ashleigh Brilliant
241. Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
     Werner von Braun
242. Resolved: That we shall build a new courthouse.
     Resolved: That the new courthouse shall be built using materials from the old courthouse.
     Resolved: That the old courthouse shall remain in use until the completion of the new courthouse.
     a county commission in Mississippi
243. Right now we have a special where you can get 500 minutes for $50 for free.
     Darren the cellular telephone salesman
244. Roderick Vereen, a public defender, had filed a motion to delay [Mr.] Hill's execution until after Hill had served his federal sentence of life in prison.
     Associated Press
245. San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.
     Herb Caen
246. Secret marriages are not allowed.
     private college rule
247. She never told me she was a mime.
     Al
248. She was never at home going out with me.
     The Russler
249. She was the last of an endless line . . .
     a widow, talking about her late husband's mistress
250. She's afraid they'll starve to death for the rest of their lives.
     Kathy Scott
251. She's not able to get around, and she's been traveling quite a bit.
     Robin Roberts on "Good Morning America"
252. She's the boy I'll never have.
     Kyle Malone, referring to one of his daughters
253. 60% of them were minorities.
     Bill Rathburn, Dallas police chief
254. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.
     Apostle Paul, in Second Corinthians 4.18
255. Some Of My Lies Are True.
     sung by Huey Lewis And The News
256. Some people in this department wouldn't recognize sublety if it hit them on the head.
     anonymous
257. Someday I'm going to look back on this nightmare and think of it as just a bad dream.
     B. J. Honeycutt
258. Something is missing. Can you spot it?
     Ashleigh Banfield
259. something that we thought was unthinkable
     Robert K. Oglesby
260. Sometime I'd like to be here when I'm gone.
     Beetle Bailey's Sarge
261. Sounds like it's going to be a great film. I hope they release it sooner than they shot it.
     deejay
262. Spare no expense to make everything as economical as possible.
     Sam Goldwyn
263. Spontenaity is all right, provided they can rehearse it first.
     Edwin Newman
264. Stage right as you look at the stage.
     D._Rice (In other words, stage left.)
265. Stop calling me immature, or I'll tell on you!
     anonymous
266. Thanks for all your help, especially the other night when [the] RAD [system] crashed for the day.
     Jeff Feath
267. That's the only reason I bring it up. The other reason I bring it up is . . . 
     Andrew P. Smith
268. The city of Pompeii was frozen by hot lava.
     Robert K. Oglesby
269. The commercials aren't louder; they just sound louder.
     TV engineer James Withrow
270. The difference is the same.
     Dale Jensen
271. The first step in remembering a person's name is to:
     1. Hear the person's name clearly.
     2. Get a clear impression of the person as a person.
     Dale Carnegie

*

272. The generating of random numbers is far too important to be left to chance.
     anonymous
273. The help I need most urgently is admitting that I need help.
     Ashleigh Brilliant
274. The interests of the employers and the employed are the same nine times out of ten -- I will even say ninety-nine times out of ten.
     Lord Curzon
275.  . . . the longer I stayed, the more I saw; and what I saw [was] their eyes . . . when you look into those eyes you see nothing.
     Ana Martinez
276. The odds are a million to one against my being one in a million.
     Ashleigh Brilliant
277. The only difference that I see is that you are exactly as you used to be.
     sung by The Wallflowers
278. The Orthodox Church changes only in order to remain the same.
     anonymous
279. The risk is minimal, at the most.
     Dr._Earl_R._Lund,_M.D., trying to convince a patient that the best it can be is the worst it can be
280. The sound is unbelievable. You're gonna have to hear it to believe it.
     Shaun
281. The superfluous is very necessary.
     Voltaire
282. The three most important things to me are math and winning.
     Sgt. Canady
283. The three of us will make a lovely couple.
     Neil Simon
284. The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that would be clearly understood.
     Alexander Haig
285. The whole thing is solid stripes.
     Kathy Scott
286. The winding road I traveled led me straight to your heart.
     sung by Chicago
287. There are two ways to write error-free [computer] programs. Only the third one works.
     anonymous
288. There are no wrong answers in unschooling, and there is room to learn from error.
     an unschooler (No wrong answers? Then where's the error?)
289. There is a customer from the PA EBT project sitting in the empty cube across from Gregg Hayes.
     someone at work
290. There is a vast degree of sleaze, more than actually exists.
     Robin Oakley
291. There is more pure chocolate in our all-butter cookies than any other ingredient.
     Safeway label
292. There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.
     anonymous
293. There is nothing so important as trifles.
     Sherlock Holmes
294. There she was -- gone!
     German farmer
295. There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting.
     George Carlin
296. There's a time for laughing, and there's a time for not laughing; this is not one of them.
     Inspector Clousseau
297. There's no future in time travel.
     anonymous
298. There's no such thing as an anonymous procedure. At least not that I know of.
     Gary Sanders
299. These are my three sons. They're twins!
     anonymous
300. These are similar in different ways.
     anonymous engineer
301. They are always in rare form.
     a Chicago fan
302. They found their way back to a place they'd never been.
     movie preview
303. They had a little boy who was tall and big.
     Robert K. Oglesby
304. They had to return to their destinations.
     reporter on the FAA shutdown, referring to planes in mid-flight
305. They have one of those floor fans on a stand.
     Elizabeth Wright
306. They may decide not to make a decision.
     Robert_X._Cringely
307. They need to get in their places before they come in.
     overheard before a chorus performance
308. They was goin' to either walk away alive, or they was goin' to walk away dead.
     someone on a show about the intelligence of chickens
309. They were empty, but they were full of cards.
     anonymous
310. They were laughing in my face behind my back.
     The Russler
311. They worship inamimate objects and other living things.
     Rush Limbaugh
312. They'll probably cut my head off and hang me by the neck.
     The Russler
313. They're both unique in the same way.
     anonymous
314. Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
     anonymous
315. This is the exception that proves the rule.
     anonymous engineer
316. This version is very similar to version 2.11, with several changes.
     anonymous
317. This was the best waste of time I ever had.
     Tom Cochrane
318. Three unrelated things that have something in common.
     Carole Mabry, guessing at an answer in Tri-Bond, a board game whose aim is similar to

     Lien À Trois.

319. Too much is not enough.
     sung by the Bellamy Brothers
320. Try to move slowly but swiftly.
     Shannon from House Improvements
321. Two things he was not able to do before, he's beginning to be able to do again.
     John Madden
322. Unless faced with emergencies, the IAS team commits to the following intervals. . . .
     In order to meet the time guidelines, emergencies will no longer be accepted.
     the IAS team
323. Usually I gain weight every time I go on vacation.
     someone advertising a weight loss product
324. Vote Anarchist
     bumper sticker
325. Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
     Mark Twain.
326. Watch for invisible blocks.
     SuperBlast instructions
327. Watch me and get off one stop before I do.
     overheard on a bus
328. We are always proving that "nothing is constant, but change."
     Gayle Diane Cordell
329. We are on a journey that requires patience combined with a sense of urgency to get there as quickly as we can.
     overheard
330. We didn't refuse; we just said no.
     Michael Kirk
331. We fell silent, remarking, "The will of the Lord be done!"
     Luke, in Acts 21.14
332. We have a three month release cycle, and almost four months of that is testing.
     Dale Jensen
333. We need to know what the invisible screens look like.
     Dave_Mitchell
334. We think it has a much better chance to be as good as always.
     Labron_Harris,_Jr.
335. We were so busy, we didn't do anything.
     Alecia Ragan
336. We will fight to the death for our pacifist aims.
     anonymous
337. We'd better start early so if we're late, we'll be on time.
     Durward Cline
338. We're all in this alone.
     Lily Tomlin
339. We’re not quite ready, so give me a couple of minutes and we’ll call you back in a second.
     conference call participant
340. We've been through it all -- and more.
     Rachel_Drayer
341. We're the only secret organization in the world that no one's ever heard of!
     Maxwell Smart
342. Well, it's very similar to this, but it's a lot different.
     antique mall customer
343. What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
     Ursula_K._LeGuin
344. What's your phone number?
     B. Grace's mother, asked of him over the phone when she initiated the call
345. Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
     Mahatma Gandhi
346. When I am weak, then I am strong.
     Apostle Paul, in Second Corinthians 12.10
347. When I got on Woodall Rogers [Freeway], it [the traffic] stopped, and it stayed stopped until I got past LBJ [Freeway].
     Charles_Bentley, who didn't explain how he traveled a dozen miles while stopped
348. When I think of how I prayed he would get well, I could murder him.
     anonymous
349. When you get to be my age, you start to lose your eyesight, your hearing, and . . . let's see . . . what was the other thing?
     Grandma Lewis
350. Why isn't there some cheap and easy way I can prove how much you mean to me?
     Ashleigh Brilliant
351. Why do I have to stop living to keep from dying?
     Michael Ellis, talking about dieting
352. Working for these people would put gray hairs on a bald man!
     anonymous
353. Would you care to drift aimlessly in my direction?
     Ashleigh Brilliant
354. Y'all be quiet and yell!
     high school cheerleader trying to keep kids from chatting during a pep rally
355. Yesterday it took her almost a day and a half.
     Sprint employee
356. You are unique -- just like everybody else.
     Laurie Varley
357. You can count on an unpredictable number of wild cards.
     Games magazine
358. You can use the "readonly" command to ensure that the value of a variable cannot be changed.
     Mark Sobell, who needs to explain the meaning of "variable" to me again
359. You have a great future, even if the future isn't what it used to be.
     Yogi Berra, to a graduating class
360. You have reached Jim Galloway. I'm not available right now . . . 
     Jim Galloway's voice
361. You should have been there after you left.
     Michael Kirk
362. Your mind has to be working all of the time most of the time.
     Robert L. Scott, on being a teacher