Travel Industry IAQ
(infrequently asked questions)
Actual Questions Asked Of Tourism Officials in Minnesota . . .
- Congratulations to the Minnesota Legislature for being willing to include
money to support this type of visitor center and keep important the little towns,
which could be regarded as dead or dying.
- Does one need a travel permit or visa to visit Minnesota?
- I want an adult-only resort, no kids! I also want a beach,
but there has to be a swimming pool, I'm not swimming in that filthy lake!
- I'm coming in July and I want snowmobile rental information.
- Is it always foggy in Duluth? What time will the fog lift?
- Is there such a thing as an easy fishing lake?
Something without having to hunt and work real hard?
- We want to tour the Edmund Fitzgerald.
- Where do we go to do the whale-watching?
. . . And Elsewhere
- in New York:
- Will we end up in Holland if we drive through the Holland Tunnel?
- in Florida:
- Can you tell me which beach is closest to the ocean?
- in Massachusetts:
- where does the Boston Tea Party take place?
Actual Questions Asked Of Travel Agents
- How far ahead do I need to book a two-week advance ticket?
- Is Wales closed during the winter?
- What time is the Loch Ness Monster fed?
- Why did they build Windsor Castle on the flight path of Heathrow?
- [of a cruise] Can I fish off the boat?
- [of a cruise] Does the crew go home at night?
- [of a cruise] If I don't like it, can I get off?
Actual Statement Made To Travel Agent
- I want to sit on the shady side of the plane.
Actual Questions Asked Of Cruise Ship Crew Members
- Do these stairs go up and down or just up?
- Do you have to leave the ship to take a shore excursion?
- Does this elevator go all the way to the front of the ship?
- Does this ship have its own generator?
- Is Vancouver Island completely surrounded by water?
- What do you do with the ice sculpture after it melts?
- What time is the midnight buffet?
- Asked by a passenger staggering back and forth
toward a crew member:
- Is the ship moving yet?
- Asked of the guy who goes around taking people's pictures
and selling them later:
- If the pictures aren't marked, how do we know which ones are ours?
- Asked while out at sea:
- Do all the waiters sleep on the ship?
Guest, to purser: Is the pool salt water or fresh water?
Purser, to guest: Salt water.
Guest, to spouse: See, that's why it's so rough!
Actual Questions Asked Of Tour Guides
- Are there any Sheena Easton museums in Glasgow?
- I'd like to go out to see the whales on August 8.
Are the whales going to be out that day?
- If there are no trails [on the mountain],
how will we know when we get to the top?
- What time does the 12:00 PM boat leave?
- What trip do you recommend for a girl
scout troop that doesn't like nature?
- What's an island?
- Who feeds the Loch Ness monster?