|and other church announcements
In the bulletin for the church where I worship,*
this request on behalf of someone recovering from surgery:
No visitors, calls / cards welcome.
I wondered whether this was shorthand for
No visitors or calls allowed, but cards are welcome.
No visitors allowed. Calls and cards are welcome.
But I thought this more straightforward:
No visitors, calls, or cards are welcome.
See what you can make of these other notices. . . .
|Additional volunteers are needed for next week's Easter Egg Nog Hunt.
|After a study of the book of Philemon we will resume our study of the New Testament.
|Allison Perozzo is recovering from having her wisdom taken out last week.
|Area Promise Keepers are having a pancake breakfast for the Community Cooperative Ministry shelter for abused and battered women. They've been touching women for Christ for ten years.
|Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
|Barbara C remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
Everyone is invited to a tea honoring our graduating senior girls.
|Chinese Pizza Supper Tonight 1
|Church seeking preacher: Starts August 6. Send resume by June 1. Include wife, transcripts, and references.
|Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
July 14, 20004 2
|Danny holds a bachelor degree from Ouchita Baptist College. 3
|Don't forget, Ash Wednesday is Monday, March 5th.
|Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
|Due to the rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
|During five days, April 1-4, 2014, Brian Davis organized and led a seminar . . .
|During the absence of our minister, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon from John Smith who supplied the pulpit.
|Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
|Evening massage - 6 PM
|For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
|God Is Good. Dr Hargreaves is better.
|Harewood Christian Discussion Group: We shall be meeting on Wednesday, 11th April, when the subject will be "Heaven: How do we get there?" Transport is available at 7:55 PM from the bus stop opposite the Harewood Arms.
|Her favorite song is Ten Thousand Angles.
|If you want to be a superhero for God, you could wear a costume, or even nothing at all.
|In case of rain the community prayer vigil will be moved to the Christian Strife Center at Pennington Street Baptist Church.
|Individuals and choirs from several area churches will untie at the park for one great evening of praise and worship.
|Internet Pornography Sessions Begin Wednesday.
|Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married October 24 here at the church building, thus ending a friendship which began in school days.
|Jon's dad formerly preached in Opelika and Mobile, but is now working.
|Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
|Let us pray for those who are sick of this church.
|Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
|Mary Ruth Shaunessy is doing well following a procedure which was performed to help relieve abdominal pain at Baylor.
|Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
|Next Sunday Mrs Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's A Terrible Experience."
|Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
|Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."
|Our sympathy is extended to Samuel Austin, whose mother pasted away.
|Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
|Pepe is in the hospital with a sever staff infection and requets our prayers for her successful recovery. She and her husband are very close friends. 4
|Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
|Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM. Prayer and medication to follow.
|Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
|Several members of our youth department are collecting donations for Operation Graduation. Funds will be used for a drug and alcohol party following graduation on May 29th.
|She is very upset, as her mother has breasts.
|Sin, choirs of angels, sin in exultation.
|So far this year we have seven (6) beautiful little ones and their families to honor.
|Some of our numbers are ill.
|Thank you, Lord, for the many miracles we are too blond to see.
|The agenda was adopted. The minutes were approved. The financial secretary gave a grief report.
|The annual Easter Egg Hunt will be Saturday from 10:00 to 10:03 a.m. on the rear lawn.
|The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
|The Baby shower will be at 2:00 p.m. Saturday. All ladies invited. No clothing needed.
|"The church in the 90s -- How do I respond as a christian woman?" Our lesson this week will be presented by Ben Cole, John Crowder, and Bill Vaught.
|The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
|The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell on her.
|The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
|The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
|The Johnson family will attend the funeral of Susie's former husband, who died in Flint, Michigan tomorrow.
|The ladies of the church are collecting items for Newborns in Need: fabric and supplies for knitting, crocheting, quilting, and sewing; finished goods; new and gently used clothing and blankets in good condition. Please place your baby in the bassinet located in the hallway.
|The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
|The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
|The minister spoke briefly, much to the delight of the congregation.
|The outreach committee has enlisted 25 volunteers to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
|The "Over 60s Choir" will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.
|The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing "Break Forth Into Joy."
|The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
|The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
|The rosebud on the altar is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev and Mrs Julius Belzer.
|The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
|The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks On The Water. The sermon tonight: Searching For Jesus.
|The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
|There was a break-in at the Open Door Baptist Church last week. Burglars entered through a rear window.
|There will be a meeting for those who like to cook and comfort those who mourn.
|There will be a procession next Sunday afternoon in the grounds of the monastery; but if it rains in the afternoon, the procession will take place in the morning.
|This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
|This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs Johnson to come forward and lay an egg at the altar.
|This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
|Today's Sermon: How much can a man drink? With Hymns from a full choir.
|Tonight's sermon: What Is Hell? Come early and listen to our choir practice.
|22 were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs Martha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs Crutchfield and Mrs Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
|Ushers will eat latecomers.
|We are accepting candy and individually wrapped monetary donations in the office.
|We have one car in the parking light with its licence running.
|Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
|The framed entries are from our bulletins, newsletters, and announcements.
The rest are contributions from elsewhere.
|What is Chinese Pizza?
|This what I call advanced planning.
I saw this in 2004, i.e. 18,000 years before the event!
|It should be "Ouachita"
|The words "sever," "staff" and "requets" appear here exactly as in the original announcement. But of course, that's not why I included this clipping.
|Word Wild Web
|Dumb Things People Say
|Lien À Trois