Now, I mean no disrespect here. After all, I'm currently working on learning a
third language myself. (I gave up on my second language.)
So, I know how difficult it is to word things correctly in a language that is
not one's own. I hope that the people to whom I speak my new language get as
much enjoyment from listening as I do from collecting these quotes from people
who speak . . .
English As A Second Language
- A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors
have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
East African newspapers
- A ROOM WITH A VIEW ON THE SEA OR THE BACKSIDE OF THE COUNTRY.
African hotel sign
- According that I'm coming from Slovenija as well I would like to know
where have you've found an information about a bear bone flute and do
you know in person Dr. Turk or you might know someother here in
- All ladies are half price.
Tokyo, Japan, bar advertisement
- As promissed we were unable to deliver 850 Business Reasons Document on
- Cheer Up With "Yakult"
"Yakult" is the health drink manufactured with scientifically cultivated
micro-organisms which has tremedously beneficial role to the human
Our firm confidence is based on the fact this live bacteria can go through
strong acid in the stomach and bile and reach the intestines alive. Drink
"Yakult" every day without skip, then "Yakult" will be one of your
- COME INSIDE AND HAVE A FIT.
sign at Brussels clothing store
- Cooles and heates. If you want just condition of warm
in your room, please control yourself.
sign on A/C in Japanese hotel room
- Depositing the room key into another person is prohibited.
Japanese hotel sign
- Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
Leipzig elevator sign
- Do not use parking lot as we expect a great deal of dustle.
Tokyo immigration office
- Dresses for street walking.
- Drop your trousers here for best results.
Bangkok dry cleaners
- EDS rejected 810, please let know why?
- English well talking.
Here speeching American.
Majorca shop signs
- Excuse me for we are afraid.
This seat is not avaailable for reason of dirty.
note on chair in Asian restaurant
- For best results: Wash in cold water seperately, hang dry
and iron with warm iron. For not so good results: Drag
behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
Korean shirt's laundering instructions
- For Restrooms, Go back toward your behind.
sign in a station in the Far East
- For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
Hong Kong supermarket
- He had a poster with Ian playing, where you could see something like
an extra-straw on the embouchure, that Ian used to adress the blowing
to produce that particular sound. Someone knows when is true?
Hearing "Thick as a brick" for example, sometimes I wonder how is
possible to produce so a regular overblowed sound.
Emilio from Italy
- Hi Dave:
I hope you're great. I'm feel so sad for the fire. I think that day
was so scared. Sorry for your drums. It's to bad that the church did not
have fire insurance. I hope that the church soon fix it. Maybe all the
ASYS can do some activities for gain founds for the rebuilt. I'm really
I'm working for an insurance company 3 weeks ago. "Seguros Monterrey
Aetna", I'm working in Mexico City, but the company has branches in
Monterrey, Guadalajara and others cities. I'm a project leader or
Strategic Planning, I'm in the health area. The company has some
strategic business unit, I'm in the SBU health. I'm so happy because I
worked here 1 and a half year ago. I like here but if I could live again
in Dallas I would be the happiest people.
Please send me the ASYS email address, some day I wrote to someones of
the ASYS but I didn't have ansers, I don't know if they changes theirs
Anyway please say to everyone I will pray for all of yours.
Take care. I hope you can buy soon your drums.
P.S. please write in this email.
- HI, Im Francisco_Lopez from Mexico, City.
I'd like to know if exists any posibility that the Chicago tour will pass
frthis town. I didnt see them when came recently, and i hope go to one
concert of this great musicians. I look at the home page, but theres no
dates programmed. I apreciate some information about it.
- High blood pressure has damage effects to various organs of
body. . . .
it is permanent and long lasting in most cases. . . .
it effects kidney normal function. . . .
person become dependent on kidney dialysis for rest of his
life. . . .
The brain also get the bad hit from high blood
pressure. . . .
it is one of most common cause of disability and death in
elderly. . . .
Heart Attach is the most common cause of death in the
country. . . .
high blood pressure is the one of major determinent. . . .
initially its presence unnnoticed and it remain silent for several
years. . . .
Regular exercise and low salt diet will keep your blood pressure
normal keep you away from unnecessary medication.
- How about this are sir? Will I can give it to you for 300 rupies.
English skills test in Sri Lanka
- I can speak English. Glad to serving you!
sign in a store window
- I couldn't stay here anymore longer.
- I am doubling check with you.
- I got an letter for my band playing for doing a lot of stuff for
extreacradied. I got a meadle for it to.
- i have a (.vbs) file please how can i but it as html and make it as link when i press it the vbs file will download and exist
someone asking for help at a computer programming website
- I see you successfully passed the prophylactics and are back in with no
Lithuanian prison deputy director, to people who had been approved
to visit there
- I swithed my gear yesterday to work on Orbit Outbound map.
As for the Orbit inbound, I am trying to understand what the Glenn's
logical in the map and doing some trail test, I did not make many progress
except understanding more the map. At this point, it looks Galileo
has to make decision . . . I have not get final anwser from
Joseph, yet. . . . how many works will take you to do such
change? . . . I am just get an idea what impact . . .
unnamed EDI programmer
- I was wondering if you people can give me some advice for Minutte
that I'm playing because when I hit the high notes an't an
pretty sight for the ears. Please very derpreat.
- I'm so exited!
- IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE U.S.S.R., YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.
Moscow hotel sign
- IF YOU WISH DISINFECTION ENACTED IN YOUR PRESENCE,
PLEASE CRY OUT FOR THE CHAMBERMAID.
Madrid hotel notice
- Indignantly Condemn The Wang-Chan-Chiang-Yao Gang Of Four.
hit song in Beijing
- Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to
do such a thing is please not to read notis.
notice in a Tokyo hotel
- Is not same thing! But can make same. How to do it?
my Chinese calculus teacher
- Isn't there something the social system do to lighten the
burden from the teachers instead.
- It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a
- It's not very easy at the first time,
but it becames rapidly quite funny.
- Just by saying me this, he made me feel good.
French Canadian flutist
- LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
sign in Norway
- Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Hong Kong tailor shop sign
- Live West Under Your Seat.
On a French passenger jet
- Mama, I hear your cake in the oven.
young American girl who had grown up in Italy
- My son is a plumber and electric.
my landlady in Arkansas
(Well, maybe English was her native language.)
- Natural Fish Knife (piece)
Special Ice from the House
items on a menu in Moraira, Costa Dorarad
- Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you.
(I know it makes sense, but I had trouble with it at first.)
- Not to perambulate the corridors during the hours of repose in the boots
Austrian ski resort
- Now baby. Tonight I am feeling cool and hard boiled.
Japanese shopping bag
- Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the
- Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
- Pasta Salad mixed with either chunks of fish or baby . . .
- Please flash after use.
toilet stall sign in North Point, Hong Kong
- Please leave your values at the front desk.
Belgrade hotel sign
- Please to bathe inside the tub.
Japanese hotel sign
- Pipe line to installed on inlet side with arrow.
To turn from "O" to "OO".
Each scale (300 gallon) need approximately 1 hour.
instructions on a water timer made in Taiwan
(By the way, the timer didn't work very well.)
- Roasted Wine-Soaked Conch -- It should be eated with depressed hot
- Policeman: What countryman are you?
Sailor: I am sailor belong to the Golden Eagle, the British ship.
Policeman: Why do you strike this jinricksha man?
Sailor: He told me impolitely.
Policeman: What does he told you impolitely?
Sailor: He insulted me, saying loudly "the Sailor, the sailor"
when I am passing here.
Policeman: Do you striking this man for that?
Policeman: But do not strike him for it is forbidded.
Sailor: I strike him no more.
"The Practical Use Of Conversation For Police Authorities"
- Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in
the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in
the country people's fashion.
- Section 10--Slender Roll of Medicated Paper. It is a form of
preparation made by twisting medicated paper into a slender roll or
by twisting paper into a slender roll and then medicating it, so
it is called "slender roll of medicated paper."
Shanghai College of Traditional Medicine
- Stop. Drive sideways.
detour sign in Kyushi, Japan
- Stomach Care Snack Bar.
- Suck the miracle of Guangdong market through Guangdong Yellow Pages.
Guangdong Yellow Pages, southern China
- Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.
Hong Kong dentist
- The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
Yugoslav hotel sign
- The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret
that you will be unbearable.
Bucharest hotel lobby sign
- There is a true and sincere friendship between you both.
("between you both" as opposed to "between only one of you")
- The other problem doesn't have to do anything with this problem.
- Thank you, but I am so sorry to cockroach on your time.
French ambassador Cambon
- To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should
enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor.
Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
Belgrade hotel elevator sign
- Visitor should not be carried: Arm, pets of material should be fired
into the hotel.
Visitor should be wanted to help: Eating and
drinking, urgent or cure a descase. Should be phoned with the
Visitor should not be ironed--cooked--washed. Hotel
has got every service for a visitor.
Vietnamese hotel rules
- Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9
and 11 a.m. daily.
- Waiting to hear from Ingram since long time..
Madhu Kumar Sampra Venkata Ramachandra
- Wash and rape the sweet potato.
- We take your bags and send them in all directions.
airline ticket office in Copenhagen
- What I find interesting is working writing all this, deciding before,
not leaving too much place to improvisation.
- When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles
your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Tokyo car rental firm
- When you are learning Espanish, it is very important to practice
- Whenever I hear comments about these . . . it
makes me want to move into abroad.
- Why do you did that?
- Why not do you like one this are?
English skills test in Sri Lanka
- Why was the freeway sticky?
sentence from an ESL course advertised on Spanish TV
(I think the answer is "Because of a traffic jam.")
- Yes, I asked the same thing that you answered for. May be,
I would phrased as confusing to you. I apologize for it.
- You are all invited to the wedding, and also to the parish hall
afterward for the conception.
- You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
Japanese hotel sign
- You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet
composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
sign in Moscow
- You want it, we had it.
Japanese electronics store sign
- You want to apply for a soholarship to a college in England.
Complete this application from.
English skills test in Sri Lanka
A German man on a US flight was arrested under suspicion of making a bomb threat
when he told a flight attendant "the roof will fly if I sit down." Turns out he
just needed to use the restroom. He was literally translating a German idiom
meaning "I'm gonna burst!"
Click on the button below to see a letter
written by a computer programmer who came to the United States from
Germany for training in our company.
Questions on a medical form in Japan:
- Are you haunted by horribles?
- Do you ever run after your nose?
- Does your nose choke?
- Does your head or face or shoulder ever limp?
- Has any part of your body suddenly grown uncontrollable?
- Do you have heart thrills?
- Do you have hot fit?
- Do you feel as if there were two when there is only one?
- Are more than half your teeth off?
- Do you readily become orderless unless you are strained?